Sunny Days Are Here Again

Posted on July 23, 2023 by Blog Mavens

Sherrill Pool Elizondo, Age 74

I’m 74 and live in Texas. Summers are brutally hot and becoming hotter and the sun more intense. Several years ago I began seeing a dermatologist to remove skin tags. Nothing else turned out to be serious. At that time I wasn’t having a total body check. Nothing on my skin looked suspicious (even certain moles)…just skin issues like Eczema at certain times of the year and spots called Seborrheic Keratosis. When I was growing up in South Texas I ran around outdoors daily. Back then parents didn’t slather sunscreen on their kids! As a parent, I didn’t apply sunscreen on my sons either and they were often out all summer on their bikes. I now regret not making them put on sun protection but I don’t recall that many parents did this either except when going to the beach. When I went with my family to the beach for a week as a kid, I DO recall we weren’t allowed outside during the heat of the day and not allowed to swim except early in the morning or late afternoon. Something I tried with my own sons but wasn’t always successful.

In the 60’s and 70’s, most of us recall sun bathing during the summer. I used sun tan lotion but it didn’t contain high SPF. Others used baby oil to get a rich deep dark tan. I was a blond but tanned easily…most of us wanted a healthy looking tan! I’d burn slightly and then tan..never a blistering burn or skin that peeled. I recall only one bad sunburn in adult years. I’d gone to St. Croix in the Virgin Islands with my husband on a business trip in the 90’s.The wives went to the beach one day and had a lovely time being served rum drinks and enjoying a breezy cloudy day. I got a very bad sunburn that prevented us from going on a boat excursion the following day. A cloudy day doesn’t prevent sunburn!

April 2021 I went to the dermatologist. I had a sore on my scalp near my temple that was not healing and assumed that it was a pimple or just dry skin. I’d mess with it and sometimes the area bled. The dermatologist removed precancerous spots near one wrist and examined my scalp. She said we could wait for a while to see if it would heal, as that was my wish, and she gave me a cortisone injection in the area. The following spring I returned to see her. The “sore” hadn’t healed. She examined a small red area on my shoulder (about the size of an eraser on a pencil) and said that it, as well as the sore on scalp, definitely needed to be biopsied. In a few days a nurse called and told me the biopsies showed Basal Cell Carcinoma. I was surprised! I guess I thought I was immune to skin cancer. An appointment was set to meet with the MOHS surgeon in the dermatologist’s office on April 26. This would take several hours so I was told to bring snacks and a book to read.

The surgeon removed the small spot on my shoulder and, after checking under a microscope, she was able to determine the skin cancer was completely removed. I got another injection to numb pain on the larger spot on scalp. After the first scrape, it was determined the doctor would have to do it again.That time it was completely removed but required stitches.This meant applying an antibiotic at home and returning for follow up to remove stitches in May. Everything looked normal on my return but I needed to go back in 4 weeks for yet another follow up. I returned to see dermatologist in February, 2023 and she found another small spot to be biopsied and took care of one precancerous spot on my face. I’d moved from the area I lived in for 42 years and needed to make a 3 hour trip for the appointment in March. MOHS surgeon was not required and dermatologist was able to freeze area. I try to remember, if I’ll be outside any length of time, to apply sun block and wear a hat…the hat I often forget! I use facial sunscreen and BB cream or makeup with SPF and try to stay inside during the hours of the day when the sun is most intense.

I hope all of you take precautions with your skin this summer especially but year round as well! I feel fortunate that what I had was not squamous cell carcinoma or Melanoma. It was explained to me that I had accumulated sun exposure over a lifetime which caused skin cancer. However, the dermatologist said that even ONE bad sunburn can cause this. Be safe! Get yourself checked out with a dermatologist.

Posted in 70candles, Health, Our bodies, our health | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

New Eyes

Posted on June 19, 2023 by Blog Mavens

Susan, Almost 75

As many of you know from my writings, I am new to Maine. It’s been nearly five years since I ventured north, just before the pandemic. Being sequestered for a few years has made me very aware of interpersonal relationships. Perhaps because I know so few people here. Now that we can get out and about I am just making a few friends.

Over and over it seems just about everyone I meet is so self-centered. In a new relationship, one would think others might take an interest in another person and ask them questions. Instead it appears they just listen. Then they go on to talk about themselves with no response to anything I might add. I say that and then second guess myself wondering if they just zone out and I am being too kind to them.

Having never noticed this before or maybe didn’t care, I wonder about it now. Were people always that way or did I just not notice or care? Or, are we suffering from isolation more than we know. I think all the above might be true.

I’ve lived in the northeast before and do understand the culture is a bit different. All cultures vary a bit which I enjoy. At soon to be 75 and a sociologist/gerontologist/environmentalist/activist by training/education/interest this bothers me.

I would appreciate any thoughts you might have about this. Has this been your experience lifelong? Or do you think this is a post pandemic thing? Or?

Posted in 70candles, Adaptations and accommodations as we age, Older women connecting | Tagged , , , , , | 18 Comments

Time to dump my 80th birthday candles

Posted on June 7, 2023 by Blog Mavens

Miriam, Age 81

Nine months after my 80th birthday, my “8” and “0” candles still sat on my bookcase. I couldn’t decide if I want to be reminded of this frightening milestone or if I should forget it and continue to see myself as young enough for new adventures. I knew my grey hair, weakening legs, wrinkled loose skin and tiring at 9pm required limits I had to accept.

Finally, before my 81st birthday, I stored the candles out of sight. Sure, reminders of my age are everywhere. They intrude when looking in the mirror, while walking up or down hills and in countless other ways. Aging sometimes becomes a positive, too. I appreciated when a college student offered to help lift my suitcase off the airport baggage claim carousel. I love when my granddaughter jiggles the skin on my hand and says with a smile, “I love touching your soft skin.” But I’m glad I stored the candles where they can’t remind me of my age.

Posted in 70candles, Adaptations and accommodations as we age, Aging, Attitudes about aging, Family matters, Gratitude and Spirituality, Resilience, Turning 80 | Tagged , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Broken bones – 76

Posted on April 26, 2023 by Blog Mavens

Noel, Age 76

I’m a mental health counselor and I still ride my horse and feel 56 even though my physical self has a lot of metal in it. I’ve been through two bouts of breast cancer, all early thank God and several fractures. Recently, I tripped over a rug that I had rolled up in my living room and landed on the floor, I hyper-flexed( kind of like a whiplash) thought nothing of it got a x-ray at a chiropractor and all was well. I went to see my primary several weeks later and she suggested an MRI. Turned out I have a type two dens fracture at the base 3mm that is stable and non-displaced. It’s been 12 weeks now with a soft cervical brace and no healing. At 76 bones take longer to heal, and this particular bone doesn’t have a lot of blood supply, although my doctor thinks I’ll heal. He has prescribed a bone stimulator growth machine which I use every morning for half an hour. I’ve read journal articles on this type of fracture and the surgery required. I am concerned about the rest of my life whether it be 5, 10 years or two! Any one out there have experience with a type 2 dens fracture? I love to hear some good experiences:)

Posted in 70candles, Adaptations and accommodations as we age, Aging, Health, Networking, Our bodies, our health | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Forever homes

Posted on April 15, 2023 by Blog Mavens

Sherrill Pool Elizondo, Age 74

My husband and I moved to our vacation home 8 months ago after being in our home in Cypress, Texas for 42 years. Difficult physically, mentally, and emotionally! Possibly it would have been easier at a younger stage of life but we loved where we lived and my husband was still working. One son convinced us that we didn’t really need two homes anymore (OR a two story house) and needed to get rid of many of our belongings we accumulated in a 52 year marriage! We had a vacation home built on the Texas coast in 2014. For 7 years we would stay there between 4 days and 2-4 weeks. Often I’d come alone or with a cousin before husband’s retirement. Keeping up two homes is a daunting task. I kept in mind something a dear friend told me: “For much is given, much is required.” Our vacation home (now permanent residence) is in a small town where I vacationed for years with family growing up and where my husband and I would visit my parents in their 2nd home when our sons were young. They learned to fish here and we had many happy memories of time spent in this small coastal community. Where we moved was not completely a strange or new place but still I find myself trying to feel at home. I think I’ll always carry my old home in my heart. I googled something about not feeling at home after a move and found much written on the subject. Feelings I’ve been experiencing are not uncommon. On Psychology Today an article went into depth about feelings involved with a move and ways to get beyond sad or negative emotions. Moving does NOT always make you happier and the author used a phrase that gives a sense of the general meaning of the feelings and what needs to happen: “place attachment.”

I’ve only lived in a few places in my lifetime. My parents’ 2 homes, dorm in college, a small apartment when I married, our first starter home, and the home of special memories. We chose our lot in 1980 and our home was the first one on the street. Two sons were very young when we moved in and a third son was born while we lived there. There were no grocery stores, banks, nail salons, Starbucks, restaurants, or a jazzercise center nearby. There was little traffic and I could cross a main street without looking. Mainly deer roamed the area! My sons rode their bikes long distances in this forested area which I learned after they were much older…where was this stay at home Mom!? They remind me there was NOTHING there, no traffic, and one freeway hadn’t even been built! Now, restaurants, banks, grocery stores etc. are all in walking distance of our old home. More people have relocated there since the Pandemic and, of course, traffic has increased.

All of our sons moved back into our home between college years, jobs, and marriage. Our home was a refuge. When two sons and their families moved back to the area at different times from San Francisco and Seattle, they lived with us for several months before finding their own homes. When a hurricane caused flooding of one son’s home, we welcomed them to our home while their entire house was renovated. Growing up, all of their friends were welcome to our home and to this day my husband and I count them as our other sons. Memories of birthday parties, a family reunion, Christmas with family, good neighbors and more will always stay with me. Like a turtle, I carry that home with me!

In reading a recent post about decluttering on 70 Candles, I was reminded I had put off writing about our move…too difficult to put into words. It’s been a while since I have gone to the video of when our beautiful home was staged. I am making progress. When you don’t move for many years, you put off decluttering. I found it challenging and emotional. Just going through framed photographs and placing pictures in an archival box was bittersweet. Much of what we got rid of was overdue. My mother’s China that would eventually go to a grand daughter is now in containers for her when she is older. One grandson got some appliances etc. as he was starting college. Old books went to family or donated. Most furniture was given to family or donated to charity. The maid got some cleaning supplies…as I had all that in my vacation home. Clothes, shoes, purses, some pictures on the walls, old record albums and more…donated! I had a fully furnished home here with a beautiful old dining table…thankfully one son took the other beautiful dining table. One son took my husband’s desk. Only a few furniture items and lamps came with us. The rocking chair I rocked 3 sons in came as well! My husband has ONE box to go through and needs to decide on some of his old work suits and shirts. I still go through clothes and will give some items to one daughter in law or donate. Downsizing is tough! We no longer have my husband’s study, a fourth bedroom, formal living areas, or closet space we once had, but I don’t miss stairs or Houston traffic. There’s a couple of items I still can’t locate like a tape measure and a group of pictures that I used to carry in my wallet. I gave up on obsessing about where they could be!

I’m grateful for the help we received from family during the move. With a bad back, those who helped with packing and moving and helped put items away and got the family photos on the wall… the move would have been even more difficult without their help! I stay in contact with old friends and neighbors but I do miss them and hope they come for a visit. As far as working my way into the community at this stage of life…that’s another matter. I don’t want to pressure myself about volunteer work, as I volunteered for MANY years in my younger years. I miss my shopping conveniences and routines but trying to adjust. I’ve joined an exercise group but they are mainly seniors and I DO miss younger Jazzercise friends. For now, (I deserve this) I’ll take pride in what I do accomplish in attempts of getting my writing published and enjoy reading, as I am an avid reader. Along with some walks on the beach road, I’ll try to keep in mind that life is good! I sent an email to family and friends several months ago and said in the final paragraph some thoughts I would like to share:
Our home sold in 2 days! We even got more than asking price. On our final moving day I walked through all of the rooms upstairs and downstairs and looked out all of the windows…Had my cry and said my good bye. I read that a home one has lived in for a long time is just the vessel of memories…so true. We had many happy times with a large and growing family through the years. Today our youngest grandchild is 5 and started kindergarten. Our oldest grandchild started his first day of college. “Nana” and “Pops” have begun a new chapter of our life here in our home by Aransas Bay.

Posted in 70candles, Adaptations and accommodations as we age, Aging, Family matters, Goals ahead, Looking ahead, Men aging, Read Stories, Resilience, Where to live | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Spring into action – decluttering

Posted on April 1, 2023 by Blog Mavens

Karen, Age 62

Today is April 1st and I’m starting the journey of decluttering in a unique way that I learned from our family friend, Grace. You start with one item on day one, two items on day two, etc. By the end of the month you are throwing or giving away 30 – 31 items. The items can be as simple as a paperclip, or even a letter no longer needed. But the daily cumulation provides momentum throughout the month. She did this practice for several months a couple years ago and she said it was not only cathartic, but has kept her in a frame of mind to be ever vigilant about ‘things’.

I’m eager to get started and counting on the momentum to keep me going. I’ve pared down over the last two years as a result of two moves. However, I feel it’s time to dig a bit deeper and look past the obvious. I need to get to those boxes of music that I haven’t touched, the books that aren’t read anymore and could be shared, the outdated or never used trinkets, jewelry, scarves, clothes, even shoes that I know I have not worn in two years and might never wear again now that I’m retired. What about the canned goods I know I’ll never open, the duplicate or expired spices? And, do I really need my daughters’ worn out baby blanket? It’s time to lighten my load – sentimentally and physically. April seems like the best time to begin.

Posted in 70candles, Adaptations and accommodations as we age, Goals ahead, Looking ahead | Tagged , , , , | 7 Comments

Leaving an end-of-life letter

Posted on March 31, 2023 by Blog Mavens

Jane, Almost 74

I thought I would leave this end-of-life letter behind for my daughters-in-law when I die. My experience with them has been difficult, I have not been able to communicate with them effectively, and I find that writing helps me to cope with such challenges. I wonder what you think about my doing this. (I thought I might also leave a letter behind for my sons, if I become so inspired to write it.)

Dear Sue and Rachel,

Well, I am finally off and away to my next big adventure.

I wanted to share a few thoughts with you because in no time, when/if your children get married or have kids, you will move to the role of grandmother and mother-in-law. This is a big shift and will be a big adjustment. Your children won’t need you any longer the way they did when they were growing up. It will be time for them to move on to their own independent adult lives. And if you’re like me, it will probably take some getting used to.

You may experience the stereotypical MIL/DIL(SIL) dynamic that can include tension, resentment, competition, disrespect, rejection, and even a feeling of becoming invisible no matter how hard you try to make it otherwise.

Or you may be in the fortunate position of having a daughter- or son-in-law who loves you like a mother. They may call you on the phone from time-to-time or even ask for your advice. I hope this will be the case for you, although according to my friends’ experiences and what I’ve read, this will be most often not the case.

I sincerely hope that whatever your experience is will be positive and loving and that you will be able to peacefully accept whatever comes your way.

❤️
Jane

Posted in 70candles, Adaptations and accommodations as we age, Death and dying, Family matters, Parenting | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Remembering

Posted on March 20, 2023 by Blog Mavens

Anonymous

My best friend in high school called last week. We spoke about friends we lost. How some obituaries read like a curriculum vitae. I suppose this was how this person was valued during their life. I see this on Fb, too among the living. Photos of this person with a celebrity or another listing their credentials promoting themselves.

I remember attending a friend’s funeral years ago. Another highly accomplished person, but no one spoke to that. Instead, they mentioned the person’s kindness and compassion to others. Overcoming insurmountable obstacles in their life. Their love of Appalachian culture, riding horses, design, watercolors, friendship, hiking, great films. Kindness. A good friend. And, then quiet ensued. These final words said it all.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the audience.

Posted in 70candles, Death and dying, Gratitude and Spirituality, Inspiration as we age | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Late to the environmental party but making up for lost time…

Posted on March 14, 2023 by Blog Mavens

Barbara Greenleaf
 
When we were growing up, there was an ethos of hard work: anything you produced of value would have to be serious and difficult to do. Throughout my life, I bought into that idea, big time. This was evident in my writing, which was long on research and short on personality. Then, in middle age, I discovered my funny bone with my book, This Old Body: And 99 Other Reasons to Laugh at Life, and I haven’t looked back since.

Recently, in Adventures in ECO Land: My Humorous Take on Going Green, I’ve applied a light touch to an uber-heavy topic, the environment. I’m not cavalier about global warming, but believe that people are more open to a message, especially an unwelcome one, when you’ve first brought a smile to their lips.

In an effort to do my part, I’ve started the grassroots organization ECO Team, which encourages individuals to make the small changes that help slow climate change and heal the planet. Collectively, these small changes add up to a lot. Also, I have found that once people put their foot on the sustainability ladder, they tend to keep climbing. ECO Team holds monthly meetings with outside speakers, takes field trips, and bestows our annual Ed Begley, Jr. Award to honor environmental pioneers.
 
I wrap my environmental messages in light-hearted vignettes like this one:
 
Clothes, Clothes Everywhere and Not a Thing to Wear
 
According to a survey of 1,000 women by the organizing company ClosetMaid, the average American woman has 103 items of clothing in her closet, but she wears only 10 % of the them. Apparently, she considers 21% unwearable, 33% too tight, and 24% too loose. (I don’t know what’s wrong with the remaining 12%, but for some reason she is neither wearing them nor giving them away.) Why don’t we purge? Studies show we justify holding onto clothes because a) they cost a lot, b) we have emotional ties to them, or, most commonly, c) we can’t face the decision necessary for winnowing.
 
And women may not be the worst offenders. Men tend to put the same laundered shirts and tees on the top of their clean pile week in and week out, yet they cling to the bottom of the pile as if those unworn coverings were religious relics. (“Relics” yes, “religious” no.) But far and away the biggest culprits in today’s consumer society are teenagers. In the 1950s Americans generally owned one pair of sneakers. Today’s teens own eight pairs on average and 30% of young adults buy a new pair every month. No wonder YouTube mavens are obsessed with utilizing every square inch of closet space in order to house all our clothing, shoes, and accessories.

Owning great amounts of wearables would merely be cause for a chuckle or a rueful tsk-tsk if it weren’t for the massive environmental impact of producing and dyeing all the necessary raw materials, fabricating them, distributing them, and then disposing of them. In fact, the fashion industry accounts for 10 percent of the world’s gas emissions. The toll on its low-paid workers is equally horrendous as manufacturers chase the cheapest needle to the ends of the earth, especially to the southern hemisphere.
 
I don’t think of myself as particularly acquisitive, yet when I recently took a clear-eyed look at my closet, I was appalled to see how much stuff was in there. These items must date back to the Before time because, during Covid, what did I wear beside a pair of ratty old nighttime pajamas and a pair of dressier daytime pajamas?

I’ve resolved to call a halt to my consumerism and reduce what ends up in the landfill —within reason. I’m finding there are a plethora of options for renting clothes: high end (Rent the Runway), budget (Nuuly), or vintage (20Age Archive). Here in Santa Barbara, there are also REI’s returned items, Goodwill’s donated items, and Renaissance’s consigned items. Finally, I am closing the clothing loop by giving away the usable things and driving the hopeless cases to the county recycling center, where they are turned into industrial rags.
 
I feel so virtuous with all this to-ing and fro-ing that I think I deserve to rent a halo. Maybe I’m a little behind the fashion curve as the halo was already passé during the Renaissance, but this testament to my attempts to live sustainably has a lot to commend it: a halo is lightweight, it adorns but doesn’t muss one’s hair, and it goes with everything. Best of all, when I’m done with it, I can pass along the halo to another sister-in sustainability. It’s a win-win for the wearers and, most importantly, a win-win for the environment.

Adventures in ECO Land: My Humorous Take on Going Green is available on Amazon in print and Kindle.

Posted in 70candles, Goals ahead, HUMOR, Inspiration as we age | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

An aha! moment for a cranky old lady

Posted on March 11, 2023 by Blog Mavens

Jane almost 74

I had an “aha moment” the other day. I met up with a couple who are friends of mine, and I noticed how one of them barked orders at the other and the subsequent hurt look on her partner’s face. I immediately began to criticize her behavior in my mind.

Later in the day I was thinking about this, and I began to realize that I criticize just about everybody all the time. And I’ve been doing this for many years.

How toxic is this? No wonder I often feel down. What is my problem? I analyze everyone and so often get upset because people don’t behave the way I think they should.

I have become a cranky old lady right before my very own eyes!

I’ve been living alone for the past three years now, and this has been getting to me. So, I decided to move into a 62+ independent living apartment complex that is in the same neighborhood as my son and grandkids. I’m thinking that this will result in a better social life. I won’t be spending so many hours alone. I do have a lot of friends, but still, I spend most of the time by myself.

I feel like I’m turning a corner and am able to step back and observe and accept situations whereas before, I would have been critical. It’s a much lighter feeling not sinking into that negative quagmire. I’m hoping I will continue to open my heart in this positive way and that when I move, I can start fresh with a new group of potential friends.

I have a feeling of hope now and actually am realizing that it is possible to continue to grow, even at almost age 74.

Posted in 70candles, Adaptations and accommodations as we age, Aging, Goals ahead, Loneliness, Looking ahead, Older women connecting, Where to live | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments