Taxing tale

Marie-Andrée, Age 70

Ellen you were my advisor at Goddard in 1985…If Picasso had a Rose Period I have my Ellen Period…life was never the same… Here is my story when Mr. Robertson asked me about my retirement…since I am now 70.

For years Mr.Robertson has been my accountant. Today, more intensely than in previous times, his eyes, beady as a gull eyeing a bag full of garbage, scrutinize the scene. Freckled receipts hastily broached together, flocks of post-it cover clippings, paper scrolls of various bookkeepings, stubs, sales slips cover my eight seat dining room table. It is ‘that’ time of the year, income tax time. Mr. Roberston perceives me as an oddity since he discovered that, for me, the term ‘yield’ was directly connected to driving and didn’t mean internal rate of return. He also labels me wicked because I insist on including my traffic fines in my car expenses.

“Have you given any serious considerations to your retirement?”
Mr. Roberston’s words boomerang inside my skull. I feel a ghost of indigestion. Inhale, count to four, hold your breath for four, exhale, count to four. Melanie, my yoga instructor takes over. Zen time, escape to a peaceful and pleasant surrounding. How to express myself to this kind man whose terminology is so foreign to me, a man whose vision of my retirement (an euphemism for old age) is to guarantee me a room with a Plasma TV at the Mount Ever Rest Resort, a golden walker and Mantovani music in the elevator? How could I tell him that retirement is synonymous of ‘pat the due date,’ that I will die but will not retire?

I aim to be one of those astonishingly dressed older women. Young aspiring Quebec designers will call me their Muse. My clothes, inspired by Mohawk and Innu ethnology will be part of the Fashion Collection at the McCord Museum. I intend to hold on and to nourish my sophisticated style. Nowadays, I proudly display a streak of magenta hair. It is easier to be spotted at a cocktail. After all, I am quite a realistic woman, at one meter sixty centimetres, I am no challenge for the Eiffel Tower. Moreover, soon I will be obliged to surrender my stiletto heels. It becomes harder and harder to keep my equilibrium after my third dry Martini.

I will share my downtown penthouse with my Royal Poodle, Remy, for Remy Martin of course. My neighbours, proud owners of Chihuahua and siamese cats will sign petitions to have him removed. My daughter will report me to the local private clinic and send the Cholesterol brigade to confiscate my supplies of almond croissants and pots of Nutella.

I already see talk show hosts fighting to get me on the air. Everyone will want to learn about the Stages of Life viewed through my one of a kind philosophical and existential lenses. I will be their darling guest throwing, here and there, a word in French, another in Dutch, and for exoticism, one of the only fifty Shwahili words I still remember. My quotes will be recited at parties. “Happy feet are essential to the whole well-being.” I will rattle esoteric facts about famous historical figures. “Stalin wore red underwear during the October 1917 revolution.”

My watercolour paint by numbers will hand at the Musée d’Art Moderne. Finally, I will master Martha Stewart’s Art of living. Walls will be decorated with mosaic cit pits of various expired credit cards.

“Maaadam?” Mr. Roberston looks at me as if I am a strange bug discovered in a bathtub.

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, Ageism anecdotes, Financial Challenges, HUMOR, Looking ahead, Resilience, Stories, Work life and retirement | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Keep on keeping on

Barb, Almost 70

WOW! I guess thinking back I never thought I would get this old. My friend and I will both be turning 70 and we both feel kind of down. We find things getting harder to do but we keep on keeping on. It gets harder to move as my knee’s are bad and her back is bad.

I try to think of good things and say to myself you are 70 yes but you can still do some of the things you like such as planting flowers only they must be done slower. I don’t feel as steady on my feet as I did but walk very careful. Frankly I think it sucks, but what can you do but make the best of it.

I just hope I will still have some good years to do things with my kids and my Grandson. I worry about dieing. I am of faith but it still is on my mind. I don’t like to think of leaving my family some day, and seem to think of it more as I get closer to 70. Well, there is nothing we can do but accept it and move on.

Posted in About turning 70, Family matters, Looking ahead, Our bodies, our health, Share your story | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Without a Script: A Caregiver’s Journey

Sent to us by blog contributor, Lois Kipnis is her book, Without a Script: A Caregiver’s Journey, published by ProPress Books. It’s a sequential series of vignettes in a short but moving compilation, describing her roller coaster of emotions as caregiver for a mom in her 90’s.   Kipnis had to make decisions and painful choices on behalf of her beloved, but physically, and gradually mentally, failing mother, but felt unprepared for the task.  With an ear for the music of language, Kipnis shares what it feels like to be a compassionate but stressed daughter-in-charge, working without a script in such complicated circumstances. She realizes that her Mother’s plight might indeed be her own, someday.

Her message resonates with all who care for ill or frail relatives…and those who might be on the receiving end of such care.

Posted in Stories | 1 Comment

Healing help

Cindy, Age 73

I remember looking in the mirror and saying out loud, “When did I get so old, and who is that woman in the mirror?” Gravity has discovered me in toto. Ugh!!!! Broke my first hip on June 28th and second one on November 5th. Ouch!!!! Still not doing really great (lots of muscle pain in last broken hip leg). If anyone has an idea of how to heal this muscle pain in leg I would love to hear from you.

Talk about depression – asked God several times to intervene and take me out of this misery. Woke up one day and decided to get better (hasn’t worked), and as soon as this ol’ body heals, going to put myself out there and find someone to care about again. Been divorced for about 15 years and am officially lonesome. Help.

Posted in 70candles, About turning 70, Goals ahead, Looking ahead, Our bodies, our health, Resilience | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Open to hope

Gloria, Age 75

Hi Everyone,

So glad there is actually a placed for women over 70 on the net. I thought they gave up on us at 60. I am 75 and still going strong. Five years ago I started a new career when I retired and launched a new website and foundation called “Open to Hope” with the mission of helping people find hope after loss. We now have over half a million people visiting the site.

I play golf 4 days a week and do my own yoga practice daily. I seldom drink and go for walks whenever I can. I have friends who can’t get off the floor. I want to say to all of the women that it is never to late to start moving again. Either move it or lose it.

I have had plenty of challenges as you will see if you visit my site. My 17 year old son was killed in an automobile accident with his cousin 32 years ago. Of course my parents are dead and my brother and sister died in the past 3 years. I think the important thing is to put yourself out there and make a new friend a week. You can do it. Go to the senior center. Don’t tell me you can’t hear. There will be lots of people there that can’t hear. Reading lips and using a black board is great!

If you are a writer come and write for my site and I will give you a profile page and print your articles. Let’s go girls. Life is amazing. Please visit me at www.opentohope.com and congradulations to all that are visiting this site. We can use technology!!!!

Thanks for this site.

Posted in 70candles, Goals ahead, Gratitude and Spirituality, Looking ahead, Networking, Resilience | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Ready to start living my future

Kay, Age 70

Hello again. This is my 2nd entry . My 1st was when I was still 69.

So on 2/10/15 I turned 70! It just sounds “old” but I am exactly the same. I know I was afraid I would be treated differently @ work once they found out. That is just crazy thinking on my part. What I know is true “now” is that I need to continue working because it is a stimulating environment. My coworkers respect and need me and that feels good.

My problem is that I need to get “moving” by going back to the gym. I want to learn how to write and do my own illustrations. So there I said it …2 things I need to start today!

So here on 3/1/15 I am ready to start living my future. Yes I do have physical crap to deal with (diabetes & asthma), but they are not barriers to me. I just have a strong desire to feel at peace with myself. Until I write again, “BE WELL.” So glad I found this site.

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, About turning 70, Goals ahead, Gratitude and Spirituality, Looking ahead, Our bodies, our health, Resilience, Work life and retirement | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

An appreciative gent

Ray, Age 53

I am a 53 year old gent i have been married to my wife for 1 year having been dating her 6 years. She has just turned 70 and she is most wonderful beautiful woman i have ever met. She is a mother of 10 children who she raised in belfast at the height of the troubles. Her energy is unbelievable so is her mind…a great lady. Just thought i would write this message to your page.
regards ray

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, Family matters, Gratitude and Spirituality | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

A wake-up call

Star, Age 71

I first wrote to 70 Candles upon turning 70 and since then have enjoyed reading other’s stories. Some have been uplifting and some have been poignant. But all have grappled with the aging process.
I have been blessed with good health until June when I discovered I have a heart problem. It took me by surprise and shook me to my core. My family has a history of longevity so I assumed living to 90+ would be my fate. Now I am not so sure… I am trying to put this in perspective, not worry and take each day as a gift.
At our age, we need to live for each moment and not procrastinate about taking that trip, spending time with family and friends, or learning something new.

Posted in Looking ahead, Our bodies, our health, Resilience, Traveling | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Speed dating at 70 and beyond!

Here’s the link to a wonderful story about speed dating events for those 70 and older….and the trailer of a new film.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/18/the-age-of-love-speed-dating-70_n_6699960.html?ncid=newsltushpmg00000003

Enjoy!
Jane and Ellen

Posted in 70candles, Looking ahead, Networking, Resilience | Leave a comment

Bridging the decades at almost 95

Maggy, Almost 95

I’m 95 as of March 14th and remember Turning 70 as the ONLY decade birthday that bothered me.

I remember early 30s and 40s as the best time of my life. 40th and 50th birthdays? Not traumatic. By 50, I’d found a job that suited me to a T–secretary to the local high school principal. I was able to negotiate it down to a 10-month job, getting same time off as the teachers.

Turning 50, I was heading into troubled waters but unaware–my husband became ill and died at age 54. That decade moving into my 60s was difficult–widowed, with children married or off to college.

60th birthday I celebrated by retiring (one can retire as a widow at 60 with same social security terms as 62 if not a widow). And I wanted OUT of working. I was MADE to be retired “with interests” and time, time, time to pursue them. It was a foolish financial decision but right for me.

Hanging out at the library which I love doing, I almost absentmindedly drifted into finding the part-time work that would make the rest of my life interesting and fulfilling – self-publishing. And it got me out of my depression.

The 60s was the revolutionary decade that, among other things, got people into self-publishing. Many of those who did it were poetry writers, or first-novel writers yearning for validation. I was nothing so high-minded – it was the success of a self-published book Keeping Your Bug Alive (advice on keeping your old Volkswagen running well) that intrigued me. Information for a niche audience, the kind of book major publishers didn’t want, but had a small niche market.

I bought an IBM Electronic Selectric machine. Learned book-page typesetting and set out to not only write and publish my first book, but typeset books for other small publishers and a magazine.

The book I wanted to exist but didn’t, was a travel bibliography that included place-set novels. I’d always put together reading lists that included novels for myself when I traveled, and was pretty good at the library skills needed to do that. But I knew most people were not, there needed to be a compiled book of reading lists for travelers! I also knew no major publisher would publish such a book from someone like me without any professional credentials in compiling a bibliography.

And so while pursuing a correspondence course with the University of Wisconsin, “Writing the non-fiction book” I came up with a good title: Traveler’s Reading Guide—Ready-made Reading Lists for the Armchair Traveler—and starting with Europe, then, U.S. and Western Hemisphere, and finally the Rest of the World, I produced and published three paperbacks over the years.

Did I make a lot of money? No, because like so many book authors, we love the research, love-hate writing the book, purely hate marketing that book. And when you self-publish you have to do it all. Didn’t lose any money, but didn’t make a lot either.

I did however, get a good review in Booklist (the publication libraries use to critique books they buy). That led to a contract from Facts on File (a major reference book publisher) to do a single-volume edition, updating my series. I did that twice–in 1987 and again in 1992—and that did make some money. Turns out if you can get reviewed by Booklist, publishers take their word for it that the book is worth publishing—you don’t need professional credentials.

Turning 70 in 1990 WAS a bit of a Waterloo for me – malaise and feeling I’d really entered old age now.

A couple, long-time friends, who were taking a trip to Yugoslavia asked me to join them–added plus, no extra charge for singles—spend that dreaded birthday in Dubrovnik. I did, and spent my actual birthday on a day-trip cruise out of Dubrovnik with entire dining room singing happy birthday to me in Yugoslavian, and drinking champagne with my friends. By the time I got home I was over that temporary depression and have just been philosophical about aging since.

Also in 1990, I got interested in the Ross Perot movement to run for president because of his stance against NAFTA. He convinced me and millions more that NAFTA would be a disaster for America – and it has been! That political interest lasted thru most of the 90s.

By this time I’d also gotten hooked at the library on another idea for a book that didn’t exist – a book about playing sociable bridge. There are hundreds, thousands of books about serious bridge playing, not one I could find on sociable bridge even though sociable bridge players outnumber the serious players by the millions.

For reasons of procrastination, and I get feeling I’ll live forever, I never did get around to publishing that bridge book until the end of 2009, at 89, with the title Bridge Table or What’s Trump Anyway? An affectionate look back at sociable bridge & ladies lunch. By this time self-publishing had become widespread, far easier than back when I started BUT one still must do the harder less fun job of marketing yourself. And so I started a blog, http://bridgetable.net as part of a rather desultory effort at marketing.

I’d still rather do the research, hang out at the library and on the internet gathering notes than writing the book. And I’d rather write it than market it.

Meanwhile I moved to retirement heaven in Florida near a daughter, still a political junkie, play bridge at least twice a week—and blog.

If people ask how come I do so well at 94 I emphasize the mental aspect. I do walk a bit, but I loathe sports–always have–and I don’t even take my vitamins as I should. I believe mental activity is at least as important as physical activity—perhaps more important. I do watch to see that I eat enough protein and greens, but don’t deny myself fried foods or yummy desserts when I eat out.

And I usually add–just for a laugh–have a martini every night and go barefooted as much as possible. [I kind of believe in that Asian stuff about all those nerve endings in the soles of one’s feet needing to be massaged by going barefooted or at least wearing thin-soled shoes.]

Just a couple months ago on 60 Minutes they did a piece on nonagenarians and what they have in common – came down to being slightly overweight and having a couple of drinks every day! I fit that.

My unscientific opinion is that heredity probably has more to do with reaching the 90s dementia-free than seems fair. But being mentally active is next – interested in life and the world, open to taking up new hobbies and activities that bring you in touch with a new set of acquaintances and friends. And, one thing more, learn to play bridge as early in life as you can. But it’s never too late – take it up in your 70s for sure if you’ve reached 70 without bridge!

First take up sociable bridge – if you have the DNA of a competitive person you can then move on up to the world of competitive duplicate bridge and engage in tournaments. If not, you’ll find sociable bridge just as addictive as the serious players find serious bridge. My motto is: “For a long and happy old age, it’s better to have played bridge badly than never to have played at all.”

What’s so unique about bridge? It’s a classy, classic game that’s been played in one form or other for hundreds of years. The whist of Jane Austen novels is the bridge of that day. Bridge is global. It’s cheap to pursue if you wish. It never bores, guarantees you social contacts long after old friends and much of your family have died off. You can play literally to the end of life—sociably or seriously–despite arthritic fingers that bar crafts (get a card holder), loss of vision as long as you can see enlarged numbers and differentiate the suits, and hearing – people can yell during the bidding phase or hold up bid cards.

Once bidding is over, you don’t NEED to hear.

And as long as you observe the rituals and manners of the people you play with that can range from relaxed to super-strict, if a foursome needs a fourth, you’ll get a call to play no matter how old you are.

For nonagenarians, I can’t think of another life skill more useful than playing bridge!

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, About turning 70, HUMOR, Looking ahead, Resilience, Share your story, Traveling, Where to live, Work life and retirement | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment