Flourishing in the Eighth Decade!

Women everywhere, welcome to our blogspot, a space for sharing experiences, thoughts, and ideas about how to overcome obstacles and thrive as we approach and endure in the eighth decade of life. We hope this exchange will be a source of inspiration for the next generation of seventy year olds. Those baby boomers are hot on our heels, and want to know more about what lies ahead. Nobody gave us a guidebook or shared what this path might be like. As we burn those seventy candles, we can help shed some light on the trail for them.

What has this transition been like for you? Serious, funny, commonplace, unusual, short, long stories, all are welcome. How does it feel to be among the oldest in the crowd? What does it take to thrive in this decade? How do you think others see you? What contributes to well-being and yes, flourishing at three score and ten?

We welcome the comments and reflections of women everywhere. All cultures, ethnicities, socioeconomic status and backgrounds; as diverse a sample as we can reach.

Please contribute brief anecdotes, observations, thoughts, ideas, and life stories by posting them in the comment section below.

Alternatively, you could email longer stories to us at 70candles@gmail.com. Please include information about your age, ethnicity/cultural background, geographic location, education, and work status. We will organize, collate, and share your emailed stories anonymously on this blogspot. Ultimately this may become a book about how our generation flourishes. Spread the word!! 

Posted in 70candles | 12 Comments

Beyond my comfort zone…exhilarating!

Evelyn, Age 73

Last weekend I had a wonderful opportunity to participate in Curtis Summerfest, an intensive chamber music workshop held at Curtis, which happens to be 4 blocks from our home.  What an exhilarating experience it was!  I hadn’t played chamber music since high school, and I was extremely lucky to have an “embedded cellist”, 17 year-old Andres Sanchez, an incredible musician, with me for the weekend, as well as a clarinetist.  We had 2 one-hour coachings by Curtis faculty each day and an additional 2 hours of rehearsals daily.  The recital was Sunday afternoon.  We played the first movement of the Brahms clarinet trio, opus 114 in A minor.

Playing a 10-foot Steinway at the new Curtis hall – awesome!  
Playing at a level that made me proud – amazing!  
Going beyond my comfort zone to do something I hadn’t done in 55 years – as they say in the Mastercard commercial – PRICELESS!!!

I thank my family and friends for their interest and support of my musical endeavors – hopefully, there will be more to come!

Posted in GOALS: Summer 2014 Challenge, What do we do with our time?, Work life and retirement | 1 Comment

Goals: Summer 2014 Challenge

Jane, Age almost 74

I’ve read that having goals is healthy for mind and body. I just started my own summer lap swimming, adding two more lengths of the pool each time I go in. Started at 15…..now at 22.

As I swam this morning, it occurred to me that others might want to climb aboard.

What goals have you set for this season? Anything will do…just a little more, or a little different each time…walking, hiking, jogging, sewing, cooking, writing, reading, memorizing poems, socializing. You name it.

Let us know what you’ve chosen and how you are progressing.

Posted in GOALS: Summer 2014 Challenge, Our bodies, our health, What do we do with our time?, Work life and retirement | Leave a comment

Let the Clock Run Wild

Judy, Age 74

Judy Scher and Julie Coburn compiled and edited a book entitled LET THE CLOCK RUN WILD: Wit and Wisdom from Boomers and Bobbysoxers. Released this May 2014. Here is the opening to a story as well as a poem that speaks to the title and will, hopefully, encourage your readers to check out our website: www.lettheclockrunwild.com

A CIRCLE OF CRONES by Elayne Clift

There are among us one uterus, three ovaries, multiple husbands, numerous children, several grandchildren, and six interesting careers. Two of us are cancer survivors. Another has a chronic disease. One has been sexually abused. We know better than most that Bette Davis was right: Old age is no place for sissies. That is why we proudly call ourselves Crones – wise women of a certain age who are transitioning into the third stage of our lives with grace, spirited intelligence, humor and a sense of belonging in this world.

Kenneth K. Cohen

As I look into the mirror
Closer, closer, nearer, nearer
What I see with each fine line
Where past and future intertwine
Is all that waxes also wanes
So little of my youth remains
Except within my inner child
Uncompromised unreconciled
To anything but being free
Of feckless age as destiny.
No, I say, it’s not the end
My butterfly waits round the bend
To claim my spirit and to soar
My here and now forever more.
Uncompromised, unreconciled
It’s time to let the clock run wild!

Posted in About turning 70, Ageism anecdotes, HUMOR, Looking ahead, Our bodies, our health, Poetry, Read Stories | Leave a comment

Used to being undaunted

Claudia, Age 87

Share my story! Where to start and be brief! Start with the present?..
I live alone in a lovely spacious apartment overlooking the Hudson River, NJ, and the George Washington Bridge.
I have 4 children and 3 grandcildren all within 3 hours or less.
Have always been full of energy which is currently diminished by my health. In short since last august surgery for multiple meningeoma on my spinal chord and spine and three months later fell broke hip. Undaunted (most of the time ) I go to physical rehab x3 a week. But all that and Atrial fibrillation slow me down. So what now?
I am glad to have been pointed to this blog by my eldest son.
Enough for now, more later.

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, Family matters, Looking ahead, Our bodies, our health, What do we do with our time?, Where to live | 2 Comments

Enjoying the ride!

Elaine, Age 70

Was so happy to find this site ! I just turned 70 on April 24th and am loving it…..I am currently recovering, at my daughter’s home, from a breast reduction surgery ! Wish I hadn’t waited so long for one, but am so happy that I finally did it !

I am a life-long equestrian; started riding when I was in Grade 5 and have continued on since then, riding and training and loving every minute of it. I am lucky to have a husband who fully understands my “affliction” as I call it and we’ve owned numerous horses over the years. Still mucking out; haying; and riding and training 5 days/week…..

Longevity reigns in my family and my Dad, who is 93 this July, is “still hanging in there”, as are 4 others of my Dad’s siblings….his older sister passed away last year at the ripe old age of 99….and I’m striving for that too !

I still do Pilates; lift weights; ride, and paint. I just love life, and think that is part of our longevity in the family too … I always find it kind of funny when younger equestrians call me “an inspiration”….I think….”what the heck are they talking about”? hahahahaha…..

I found this site in a book that my daughter bought me for my birthday, and will certainly be visiting often…..carry on folks!

Posted in About turning 70, Looking ahead, Stories, What do we do with our time?, Work life and retirement | 1 Comment

My decision to leave my home

Barbara Mott, now 90

Excerpts from Chapter Two written in her 80′s

While I am now blissfully settled in my new home, it was with much deliberation and soul-searching and almost sleepless nights that I had come to the decision that yes, I needed to make a change. It was definitely time to enter Chapter Two and put some new adventure in my life.

It certainly wasn’t easy. In fact, I changed my mind so many times that people started asking me, “What have you decided this week?” It was an agonizing period that I just couldn’t feel comfortable with. I loved my home. I would look around at all of the familiar things that I treasured and felt so comfortable with, and the idea of selling the house and moving was just too much to even consider. It didn’t help that friends would tell me now beautiful my home was. I thought so, too. Was I doing the right thing even thinking about moving? I had a lovely home, all paid for, no problems with the bills and upkeep, and Nickki and I were very comfortable there. And yet, I felt so alone. No matter where I went with friends, day or night, I always came home to an empty house.

…Assisted living/retirement homes are becoming the popular option for a lot of people my age and even younger. They are springing up all over the country and are a real blessing for people who no longer have the choice or desire to maintain the lifestyle to which they have been accustomed. Maybe it’s poor or failing health, or they have lost a mate, or the home is just getting to be too much to manage. It is a real comfort to know you will be taken care of onsite as your needs arise. Yes, it’s expensive, but so is professional personal home care. The locations are many, and if you look around, you’ll find one that will meet your satisfaction and pocket book.

… It’s amazing how much “stuff” we accumulate over the years that we forget about and don’t even need. But downsizing can be a good thing. It weeds out the excesses. My next door neighbor was planning a garage sale soon, so I gave her the remaining boxes of odds and ends to put in her sale. We were both happy.

…Maybe if I tell you how much the move has made my life happier, fuller, and more exciting, you may give some thought about how you would feel in a new environment. Here I have the advantage of all sorts of classes: computer, poetry, painting, exercising, Bible study, balance training, walking, writing. And there is often a special appearance of musical talents in the auditorium as well as book reviews and speakers. There’s a beauty shop and barber shop just off the lobby, also. What more could you want?

…Another treat is that I get the newspaper at my door every morning, and my mail is delivered to the mail room and the outgoing mail is taken by the postman. The bags of trash and garbage I set outside my door are quietly carried away. I’ve got to be careful not to get too spoiled.

…All of this information is meant to give you a different perspective of what life can be like if you can make the decision to let go of the past and face a more fulfilling future. I have not been lonely here, and have not had one moment to ponder if I did the right thing. I know I did…I keep pinching myself and wondering how in the world I could be so blessed and fortunate. My future is secure, and it’s nice knowing this is the last move I’ll ever have to make. I hope you can see yourself enjoying the last few years in a similar happy state.

Posted in Looking ahead, Networking, Where to live | 1 Comment

Alone, seeking connections

Lynette, Age 75

i just heard about this blog in a book i got for a friend – “70 things to do when you turn 70.” this is my first year being alone. when i was healthy, everything seemed ok. i could cope with my house and property. now that i have back issues, it’s harder. i have a wonderful supportive family that live nearby. i volunteer at a dog club, love to play canasta, knit, scrapbook, and read. i’m interesting in others with these same hobbies. i look forward to reading stories from other women in this age group. thank you lynette

Posted in Family matters, Networking, What do we do with our time? | Leave a comment

Now what?

Linda, Age 69

I am so happy I found your site. I will be 70 in August and have been pondering,”Now what?” That’s what I googled and found 70candles. I have taken your advice on makeup and hair, even got a short asymmetrecial haurcut that I had wanted to try since in my twenties. I figured it was now or never lol.

I was married for 27 years to a man who cheated on me for 25 of those years. When our children were 24 and 20 they said,”Mom you don’t have to live like this,” and I thought,”I don’t?”

It took me a while to find the old me and I sure like her. Nine years ago I sold my house and moved to a small mountain town to be near my daughter and two small grandchildren. It is very remote not much shopping or entertainment for 150 miles. It was great for a while, but now the grand kids are older and busy with their friends and sports. My daughter has gone through two divorces in nine years and now is struggling on her own. It is wearing me down and I’m thinking,”Now what?”

I would love to move someplace warm but I have muscular dystropy and use a scooter. Someone has to come every morning to get me up then I am good to go for the rest of the day. My son lived with me until last year and then he married and I am so happy he found such a wonderful woman. They moved back to the city where we lived for thirty five years. Things have gotten hard since he left he is very kind and helpful. They want me to live with them but that is no way to start a new marriage.

I had my home built for me nine years ago with my MD in mind. My daughter had one built across the street which was so nice for both of us. I kept the grand kids while she worked and she helped when I needed it but as I said before that was two divorces ago and she has been long gone from there for five years.

I have great neighbors that help. I’ve tried hired help and have gone through five aides in two years. They either don’t show up or steal. It’s a small town and not many to choose from.

I use the computer to do my banking and pay my bills on line. Have a smart phone, a kindle and keep in touch with old friends and my sisters who all live in different states. I also have two little chihuahuas so I’m not really lonely or bored. But I sure would like to have some fun!!!

So going to be 70 and now what?

Posted in About turning 70, Family matters, Looking ahead, Our bodies, our health, Stories, What do we do with our time?, Where to live | 2 Comments

Helpful or overbearing?

Lia, 70something

A gentleman or an old codger?

An incident, which occured earlier today, has made made me ponder over the issue of what constitutes helpful versus overbearing male behaviour.

I was part of a small group of seniour men and women alighting from a small bus, after a happy day’s outing.

As I was about to negotiate the 3 or 4 steps down, a man in his 80′s, and at least 10 years my senior, having already alighted from the bus, positioned himself in the exit and grabbed hold of my hand with the intention of helping me down.  I was not asked if I needed his assistance, and being a very fit and agile woman, I found this demeaning and somewhat offensive.

In hindsight am sure he meant well, but that is not how I experienced it at the time.

Sent from my iPad

Posted in 70candles, Ageism anecdotes, Our bodies, our health | 4 Comments

A glimpse of the big picture

Karen, Age 70

In January, 2014, I spent three weeks in India with two women who are not family members, not of the same nationality, and not in the same age group. Drawn together by a keen interest in the Indian subcontinent, a love of travel, and a genuine enjoyment of each other’s company, we embarked on separate journeys which we took together.

Our hardy band of adventurers was composed of Rolanda (a maid of 30 years), Ritu (a matron in her early 50′s), and me, a crone of 70 years. Ritu and I are university professors while Rolanda is a small business owner. While Rolanda and I are born and bred Midwesterners, Ritu grew up in New Delhi and while she has lived in the US for most of her adult life, still has strong ties to India.

Our travels together gave the me the marvelous opportunity to reflect on my life as a woman by viewing it from three different perspectives at one point in time. I am the crone of the group but have been the maid and the matron, and even though I have the shortest life expectancy of the three of us, I have the broadest perspective. I wouldn’t return to either of the earlier stages if I could because it would mean sacrificing the wisdom, knowledge and contentment I have gained over my three score and ten years. Rolanda and Ritu can only regard their lives only as far a they are along the path, and must have difficulty conceptualizing my thoughts and feeling
s as the older woman.

While Ritu’s role as a “matron” is somewhat similar to what I experienced as one many years ago, Rolanda’s role as a “maid” is much different from what mine was. At 30 years of age, I had 2 children and was a homemaker; Rolanda at 30 is single, doesn’t plan to have children, and owns her own business. The contrast between us reflects, to some degree, differences in personality and temperament, but I suspect it is more a reflection of how young women have changed over the past half century. Will the matron and crone roles change as much over the next 50 years?

I feel so blessed to have had such wonderful traveling companions and had the opportunity to see the big picture of my life rather than the more narrow perspective of my daily life. I wish all women of 70 candles could experience this.

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, About turning 70, Gratitude and Spirituality, Looking ahead, Traveling, What do we do with our time? | 1 Comment