Barbara Beckwith, Age 87
The older I get, the more I feel like one of those stereotypical Russian ladies — babushkas, they call them — who reportedly mind everyone’s business in order to enforce good behavior, especially in public places.
I shoot a frown and wag a finger at drivers who swerve around pedestrians in crosswalks. I stop short when cellphone-preoccupied walkers are about to run into me, forcing them into startled side-steps before returning to oblivious messaging. At my neighborhood cafe, I thrust one of its several “no cellphones, please” signs at customers who fail to notice the posted requests. I am gratified when my state starts enforcing its “no texting while driving” rule, giving me official back-up for my car’s bumper sticker demand: “Hang Up and Drive!”
But alas, the next generations are turning bossy on me. Younger people now increasingly remind me of their norms. My son scolds me for idling my car as I listen to the end of the hour’s news. A youthful stranger berates me for wrong-way biking down a one-way street, my habitual route since the 1960s. A workshop colleague who’s in her 20s nixes paper handouts. A sports partner half my age tells me that my bottled water is a no-no. When I return with a refillable plastic bottle, I’m scolded because it’s not BPA-free.
In public restrooms, I now feel obliged, if youngsters are present, to use the noisy air dryer rather than tree-killing paper towels. When I fail to bring a recyclable bag to the supermarket, I feel like a lawbreaker, my city having outlawed “single use” plastic or paper bags. We must pay, from now on, for profligate bag usage.
I could carp, but I’m beginning to realize that there’s something to their bossiness.
The bad behaviors I consider scold-worthy are minor compared to the consequences of not paying attention to theirs. It’s their country, their future, their climate-changed earth, their global survival, that’s now at stake.
It’s the next generation’s right to be bossy, and my generation’s role is now to add their good behavior rules to my repertoire.
At 71, I’m coping with the election results by planning to leave the country.
My husband isn’t on board with this. He wants to be near his friends, and I think he worries about his own health in the next few years. Please, of course, he loves his home.
We are both healthy and fairly fit, but of course there’s no guarantee how we will fair in the next few years. Nevertheless, I am doing my preparations to leave. I’m frightened by the incivility, inhumanity, greed, racism, and the chaos of our upcoming “leaders.” I’m disgusted by the stupidity and reactivity of the average American.
I’ve started with purging. Gave away Xmas decorations, my wedding gown from 1981 (a costume now, I figure), and books and other clothes and dishware. My current project is the stuff in the garage.
I’ve also been researching where to move. We were just in Australia, and though it’s not cheap, I’d move to Sydney in a hot minute. But alas, there’s visas, international health insurance, finding a place to live abroad, deciding what to bring and what to put in storage, renting the house, etc, etc.
My plan B is just to go down to Baja for a couple of years. Although in Baja there are so many of the type of Americans I despise—self-important and entitled.
Anyway, it keeps me occupied and gives me a sense of control over my future. We could make this happen if we were both on board even at our age.
On all the sites I’m on for “expatriating,” which is really immigrating when you take out the colonial sensibilities, there are even 80+ year olds wanting to leave the US. And single ones at that!
Right now, mother-in-law is 100. We can’t leave until she passes. And I only want to live away for a couple of years.
I hope the ugly group that is the majority in congress self-destruct first, however. I hope those who have romanticized “the outlaw” while not noticing the unelected influencers who have pledged to make us all suffer, put their brains back into their heads and use them.
Cecile
“Make a difference about something other than yourselves.”
Toni Morrison
At 71, I’m coping with the election results by planning to leave the country.
My husband isn’t on board with this. He wants to be near his friends, and I think he worries about his own health in the next few years. Please, of course, he loves his home.
We are both healthy and fairly fit, but of course there’s no guarantee how we will fair in the next few years. Nevertheless, I am doing my preparations to leave. I’m frightened by the incivility, inhumanity, greed, racism, and the chaos of our upcoming “leaders.” I’m disgusted by the stupidity and reactivity of the average American.
I’ve started with purging. Gave away Xmas decorations, my wedding gown from 1981 (a costume now, I figure), and books and other clothes and dishware. My current project is the stuff in the garage.
I’ve also been researching where to move. We were just in Australia, and though it’s not cheap, I’d move to Sydney in a hot minute. But alas, there’s visas, international health insurance, finding a place to live abroad, deciding what to bring and what to put in storage, renting the house, etc, etc.
My plan B is just to go down to Baja for a couple of years. Although in Baja there are so many of the type of Americans I despise—self-important and entitled.
Anyway, it keeps me occupied and gives me a sense of control over my future. We could make this happen if we were both on board even at our age.
On all the sites I’m on for “expatriating,” which is really immigrating when you take out the colonial sensibilities, there are even 80+ year olds wanting to leave the US. And single ones at that!
Right now, mother-in-law is 100. We can’t leave until she passes. And I only want to live away for a couple of years.
I hope the ugly group that is the majority in congress self-destruct first, however. I hope those who have romanticized “the outlaw” while not noticing the unelected influencers who have pledged to make us all suffer, put their brains back into their heads and use them.
Cecile
“Make a difference about something other than yourselves.”
Toni Morrison
Nicely done! It’s definitely time to step back and let those with the biggest stake in the future set the new norms!!! Once you accept the lack of control and influence (this takes awhile!) it’s kind of freeing…
Love your perspective.
Good for you. Keep your ways. You believe in what you do, not what it looks like to others. Bravo and Merry Christmas
Barbara…you are so authentic…and I love your piece.
Be good to yourself.
I’m 78, and when I was a kid, if we wore scarves on our head (for warmth) we would call them babushkas!