Lynn, Age 62
Working on my Retirement Project I came across “70candles” and was immediately drawn in, especially by the phrase “The baby boomers are fast on our heals, and want to know what lies ahead.” I’m one of those Baby Boomers, and I have become absolutely fascinated with how we, individually and culturally, respond to aging. Recently retired, age 62, from my final employment career as a RN. I received my B.S. in Nursing at age 55, and have a B.A. in Biology and a M.A. in Theology. I only mention these because they, also have important roles in my world view.
During the last 5 years I worked as a Visiting Nurse in an upstate NY college town. It wasn’t the kind of nursing I thought I’d be doing but I fell in love. I experienced the incredible privilege to be present with patients, and their families and friends, through the process of long- or short-term illnesses, inevitable decline, and death. I have suffered with them though very hard decisions. I have comforted, advocated for, and rejoiced with as well. We were also managing health and decline.
It was this experience that inspired my Retirement Project, and it is this blog that inspired me to write this note. I want to help people be better prepared for, and more thoughtful about, the ramifications of the process of aging and inevitable decline; what can we reasonably expect? and how might our responses and choices affect our families, friends, and/or society?
The bottom line is that we, as a culture, continue to fear dying. Yet, in spite of the vast resources available, including Living Wills, Advanced Directives, Palliative Care, and Hospice only a very small percentage of our population uses even these. We may even have Wills, and Life Insurance but we don’t usually talk about it until there is no other choice. The saddest part is that we have turned the process of dying & death into the most negative thing in our lives, rather than seeing and experiencing it as a wondrous thing to behold. We prepare for births by learning about the process, we go through the process with some reasonable understanding of what to expect, and we celebrate the outcome- the first great event of a person’s life. Should we do no less for the last great event of a person’s life?
I know that this blogspot is dedicated to “Flourishing” and few people might relate talking about the process of decline as an example of “Flourishing,” but I think we have a big opportunity. That’s why I’m reaching out to my sisters engaged in “this Longevity Revolution.” Because if this is “the revolution” what will it look like when so many more Baby Boomers are 70+?
So I’ve been taking informal surveys and pondering about how I can develop this Retirement Project idea. You have a lot of wisdom and experience among you and I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions.
Sounds like there really are those who are wanting to change how we approach ‘Our Last Great Adventure’. You have encouraged me enormously. I’d appreciate feedback regarding my initial efforts at a website: http://www.mindfuldying.com. We Baby Boomers still need you and, of course, we all are inter-dependent.
Now to get back to baking cookies with our Grandson.
Looks like there’s an interesting new approach regarding the subject of death and dying…It’s Death Cafes…began in Switzerland, and now in Britain, Canada and many US cities.. People get together periodically for informal discussions about end of life issues. Do they have one in your town yet? Check out their website at http://www.Deathcafe.com
Let’s continue the conversation here.
Jane
Dear Lynn,
I am 67, a grandmother, mother, wife, a retired HR manager, gardener, etc.
I love what you have addressed here. It is quite possible that the baby boomers could change the process and preparation for end of life. Our group certainly has proven it can make a difference. I live in New England and would like to get involved with other who share this interest.
What would you suggest?
What an amazing project you have started. I am looking forward to what you Baby Boomers can teach us and the things that you will continue to change. I am 78 (next month) and in pretty good health and I try to keep a positive attitude about life. I consider myself a life long learner. I have retired twice! You are right, though, we don’t talk about dying. It’s imperative that I get all my papers taken care of. My grown son (only child) moved to AZ a few months ago and now I’m not sure how to get him Power of Att’y, etc. I plan to visit him mid-October.
Keep up the good work. If you have ideas or suggestions for me, please let me know. Thanks again!
Thank you, so very much, Emily & Star. And it IS worthy of the Baby Boomers. This has encouraged me, and I hope to stay in touch with like minded folk. A paradigm shift… let’s go ladies!
Lynn,
Right on! I heartily agree with your thoughts about embracing rather than fearing the last chapter in our lives. I am a retired physical therapist turning 70 this year.
I have seen many “good” and “bad” deaths. My hope is that the baby boomers will take on this challenge and change the paradigm about dying.
I am in Walton, Delaware County for what I think of as the four summer months. During that time, I, also a retired nurse, work as a hospice volunteer, and find it enriching to a degree I wouldn’t have expected. I am also a member of a very tight-knit group of nursing graduates from Hartwick College in Oneonta, N.Y. Although we started with zeroing on to jobs marriages, kids, we have gone, over the half century we’ve been getting together, to death of parents, the wonder of grandkids, deaths of spouses and each other. In facing all these things straight on, we have become strong and honest and of huge support to each other. People of the wider community would benefit enormously from these sorts of discussions about death as a part of life. Sounds like you’re on the right track. I would love to be in touch with you.