Sunny, Age 71
Turning 70 last year was exhilirating!. I had the most wonderful party given by my beloved daughter and never really felt the age.
I can’t really say that I feel the age – don’t look it, don’t act it and don’t for a minute deny it.
I embrace every day and look forward to my next trip abroad.
I still work and will do so till I can’t get up in the morning.
Anonymous, Age 70
I’m waiting to feel the maturity and wisdom I’ve always assumed all the old ladies had.
Louise, Age 71
Like one of your bloggers, reaching my 70th birthday was the first birthday that made me stop and think that I was indeed getting old(er). We celebrated with family & friends at a raucous Morroccan dinner complete with belly dancing! It is my aching joints that remind me of my age since I neither look nor think like many 70+ women.
I have been a Maternal-Child Health Nurse since 1962 and working with young families has been very meaningful work which has greatly enriched my life. I just retired from a 28 year stint at UCLA Extension doing Nursing Education and found that teaching younger nurses and mentoring them has been very rewarding work as well. I continue to work on a contract basis doing educational programs in the health field and am now doing something very different in a pilot project on Professional Development. Working on new projects keeps my mind active and I like learning new things. Making new professional contacts and still earning a little more money is a big incentive.
I am blessed with a loving family that not only lives close by (Los Angeles, CA) but is emotionally close as well. I and my husband of 46 years, my two children and their families see each other frequently and we really enjoy being together. I especially love doing things with my grandchildren the youngest of which takes me back to Story TIme at the Library. Kiddie Gym lessons and singing lullabies in a rocker. Delicious! It is these grandchildren that push me to take good care of my health so as to be present at their life milestones.
I know there are many women like me because I meet them at CURVES, the exercise studio for women only. I look at the 80 somethings come to work out and I am inspired to keep going even on days when I’d rather sit and read. I have been lucky to live a good life and look forward to the next chapter.
Maggy Simony, Age 91
I’m 91 as of March 14th and remember Turning 70 as the ONLY decade birthday that bothered me.
I remember early 30s as the best time of my life. 40th? Like Nora Ephron, much of my past seems dreamlike now. By 50 I was heading into troubled waters but unaware–my husband became ill and died at age 54.
60th I celebrated by retiring as early as possible (one can retire as a widow at 60 with same social security terms as 62 if not a widow). And I wanted out. I was MADE to be retired “with interests” and time, time, time to pursue them.
If I sound mindlessly optimistic–not true. Those years I was 50, widowed, children all off to marriage and college were really terrible for me.
By age 60 I had figured a way to deal with life left–(see below).
70th was my Waterloo–went into a malaise feeling as if life were over, and very down. Good friends taking a trip to Yugoslavia asked me to join them–added plus, no extra charge for singles. I did, and spent my 70th actual birthday on board a boat out of Dubrovnik with entire dining room singing Happy Birthday to me in Yugoslavian. Friends arranged it. When I got home–I was over my malaise and have enjoyed old age ever since.
What has made my old age good for me is learning to self-publish books. Today self-publishing is so common and the technology so enabling for the self-publisher that anyone can do it. In the 70s and 80s when the idea of writing and publishing a book first intrigued me–not so easy!
I bought an IBM Electronic Selectric machine. Learned book-page typesetting and set out to not only write and publish my first book, but typeset books for other small publishers and a magazine.
My set of 3 self-published paperbacks–Traveler’s Reading Guide: Ready-made Reading Lists for the Armchair Traveler–was picked up by a major reference book publisher in the late 80s (Facts on File) and I edited two updated single-volume editions for them published in 1987 and 1993. Meanwhile I’d gotten hooked on the topic of playing bridge, and its role in women’s lives over decades. Began collecting “stuff” at libraries during those years I spent long days there editing books for Facts on File. For whatever reason (mostly procrastination and I think I’ll live forever!) I never did get around to publishing my current book, Bridge Table or What’s Trump Anyway? until the end of 2009.
Publishing a book these days (whether the traditional route or self-publishing) makes it mandatory that you have a website and market your book on the internet. And that’s what I’m doing now–launched my website on January 1, 2011 at 91.
It’s not easy! And I don’t have a natural affinity for the whole thing–love the internet for research (an extension of my love for hanging out at libraries). But all the technical stuff you have to do drives me crazy!
But brings me to this conclusion about aging. Based only on my experience–if you don’t have demands on you as you get older, nothing forcing you to get out of a rut, stay active, keep challenging yourself–you need to create them.
In my case it was almost absentmindedly. Got into self-publishing because it intrigued me, ditto history and pop culture of bridge, and then one thing just leads to another. I would never do a website if it were up to me–it isn’t; have to do it to market my book!
If people ask how come I do so well at 91 (don’t even have aches and pains) I emphasize the mental aspect. I do walk a bit, but I loathe sports–always have–and I don’t even take my vitamins as I should. I believe mental activity is at least as important as physical activity. And I usually add–just for a laugh–have a martini every night and go barefooted as much as possible. [I kind of believe in that Asian stuff about all those nerve endings in the soles of one’s feet needing to be massaged (by going barefooted or at least thin soled shoes) for one’s health.] And even science is saying these days that a couple of drinks every day is good for you. I just have done that for decades without their approval.
And, of course, I think EVERYBODY should learn to play bridge early in their life–one of few things you can do literally unto death. Doesn’t cost much either. Science is saying so as well–bridge is good for you.
My motto is, “For a long and happy old age, it’s better to have played bridge badly than never to have played at all.”
maggy
Terri, Age 50
My perception of age 70 has always been that it’s a time for slowing down and quieting your life. Now I see that the picture you have in your mind at a younger age, about what a future age is like, is completely different when you get there yourself.
I think we differ from our parents’ generation. Previous 50 year olds ..and 70 year olds…didn’t exercise as we do. They would have just settled in as more sedentary “grandparents.” The mind-set nowadays is toward doing more of what’s good for you. My parents and their friends would just relax with cocktails in the evenings.
Differences in socio-economic status mattered too. Less educated women had fewer choices of work. Most were expected to stay home raising their children.
I am amazed and encouraged to see what women continue to become as they age.
I see now that 70 is not a shut-down period, but can be a time for continued growth and self-improvement.
Looking at 70 from 50 inspires me to restructure what I’ve done before, maybe start a new hobby. I can work now to assure that when I’m 70 I can continue to improve my life and still feel fulfilled.
I see in the active 70 year-old women I know that having the next thing to do matters. It’s important to have something to look forward to.
I turned age 70 last July and I am still trying to figure out how it happened. Even though I have 2 sons one who just turned 48 in January and the other who will be 45 in August I don’t feel 70. When I am doing Zumba with my younger coworkers I am able to keep up. My 9 grandchildren who range in age from age 3 to almost 22 keep me young. My husband is still working full time, but we make time to attend all our grandchildren’s school activities and travel to Europe and Israel to visit with family and sight see.
I graduated from Bellevue Nursing School in 1961, 8 years before the school closed and in 1987 I got my BS in Human Resource Management/Psychology after many years of taking one course at a time. As a nurse I have worked in many different disciplines, OR, OB, Med/Surg, ER and finally many years as an Occupational Health Nurse. Each rotation taught me new nursing functions. I am proud of my ability to be able to continue to learn, even as I grow older. I continue to work 1-2 days a week. I enjoy interacting with people and I hope to be able to continue working a little while longer.
Good luck with your project!
Rosalie Weinberg Kesselman, Hunter College High School, 1958
Ellen, Age 70
I just hosted a gathering of ten 70 year-old women at my home. It was lovely. Three themes came up I hadn’t heard before. The first was concern about money from divorced and widowed women, all of whom were well-educated professionals. The second was a worry shared by many of us of not knowing where we will wind up living. Which city, state, what home, move closer to kids or not, stay put with no family nearby, etc. We agreed we did not worry about this in prior decades. The third added a new layer to the club sandwich. We’ve talked before on this blog about caretaking parents and children and spouses. Some in the group tonight served as caretakers for siblings, as well. Lest you think the tone of the gathering was glum, I assure you it was inspiring and fun. Many of the group wished we could meet again. Enjoying this age we’re at like no other was a prevailing view. One woman said if anything goes awry, her mantra is to say to herself “Next!” and move on. Everyone agreed keeping busy was easy but also important. Some were working full-time, others fully retired. Everyone agreed it was a lot easier now to be true to yourself, that gratitude is important, and that life is good.
Evelyn, Age 70
People told me that I would know when it was time to retire, but I was skeptical. Then one day I received a call from a favorite client, for whom I had recently written a report. He said that he loved the report and wanted to have a meeting with all his colleagues so that I could present my findings and recommendations. He said he had cleared the time of Tuesday at 8AM with everyone, and looked forward to seeing me then. I responded without hesitation that I couldn’t make it at 8AM on Tuesday. He sounded very surprised, and asked whether I had another client meeting at that time. I said, calmly but firmly, “I have another commitment at that hour”. I suddenly realized that my yoga class was more important than this wonderful client, and immediately knew that this was my sign.
Ellen Cole, Age 70
First off, I have to make the font at least 14 so I can read what I’m writing, even with my reading glasses on. I must have ten pairs of reading glasses scattered throughout the house. Right now I can only find the pair on my nose. So that’s another story: memory. You all know what they say: CRS disease? Yup, I have that, too. In fact my favorite book this past year, because it was so confirming, was Nora Ephron’s I Remember Nothing. Run don’t walk to the bookstore to buy it, if you haven’t already. Or download it on your Kindle. I did both, in case I couldn’t find one them, of course. My favorite chapter is the last, “The O Word,” standing for (if you have the kind of mind I have) not what you think. “O” is for “old.” I don’t want to recap it here, except to say the chapter is hilarious, poignant, and ringingly true.
I turned 70 two and a half months ago, on March 10, 2011. It’s taken me this long to sit down and write about it. I believe I needed the distance. It represented a profound shift for me, much like my memory of turning 30. When I turned 30 I realized I was a grown-up. I guess that meant, okay you’re responsible (as in weighty responsibility) now. I told everyone I knew to ignore my birthday, and when they did I was devastated. Seventy felt equally onerous as it approached, but this time I admitted that I wanted a big fuss. My family came through for me in spades, for which I am deeply grateful. But still…70…from grown-up to old lady in 24 hours. I thought it would be a big deal. It was. It is.
Here’s what I don’t like about 70. I already mentioned the reading glasses and the memory thing. (I had a funny conversation with a peer a few weeks ago. I said to her, “Sorry but I forget the question you just asked me,” to which she earnestly replied, “Did I ask you a question?” Okay, it’s funny, but it’s also annoying as hell.) I can’t wear high heels anymore. Many women wouldn’t care about this, but I attend a lot of dress-up events, and host many of them at my home, and NO ONE makes dressy flats that are comfortable, at least for my feet. And speaking of feet, my brother and I both developed two hammer toes recently: yuck and uck. They don’t hurt, but they look hideous. I hike and walk long distances (like marathons), and maybe the hardest old lady problem of all is having to—as one woman put it just this morning—wiz every other second, it seems. I know there are pills for “incontinence,” but I’m not that bad yet, and am medicine-avoidant, to boot. So I’ve become shameless about peeing in the woods and around the corner from everywhere.
The biggest issue for me is work. By chance, my husband’s acceptance of a new job in a new state coincided with my turning 70. Most 70-year-old professionals have the opportunity and the time to contemplate retirement, if it’s not already a fait d’complet, but I didn’t have that opportunity. I stayed in Alaska and kept working for six months after my husband moved to New York for his new position, but in no way did either of us want a long distance (extra long in our case) relationship, and we were both thrilled about this new opportunity for him. So I left a position I loved. I wasn’t ready to leave, and I certainly wasn’t ready to stop working full-time, although it was the right move to make without question. I decided at age 70 and already having earned a PhD to go to graduate school for a year—a GREAT stop-gap decision for me—but it was and is very, very, very weird not to have an office, a responsible position, a title, and maybe most of all a salary. It is very, very, very weird when I’m asked by some receptionist or other either the name of my employer or “Are you retired?” These questions make me want to scream. Or sob.
So those are the things I don’t like. There’s plenty I Love. I mean, life goes on, and I’m Me, and I like that. I’m in good health and I love to play tennis and be outdoors. I love my husband and my kids and grandkids. I like where I live now, a lot, and it’s thousands of miles closer to most of our family. Being a grandma is as rewarding as everyone says it is, and more. When my granddaughter called me a few months ago and invited me to sleep in her spare bed, I almost cried with happiness (I couldn’t do that if I was still in Alaska). When our grandson suggested last night that we see Pirates of the Caribbean, of course my husband and I went even though it would have been last on our list. When another granddaughter wound up getting a mysterious illness after returning from Ghana, we could actually go to the hospital and cheer her up. When our two little grandsons gave us a wind chime to hang outside our kitchen door, our taste or not, you bet we hung it up where we see it every morning, afternoon, and evening. It is fun being geographically closer to grandchildren, even without a career-identity (although I do teach as an adjunct and have several possibilities up my sleeve for next year).
As I look back on what I’ve written I see that in my case, turning 70 and leaving my work, and moving across the country, are inextricably entwined. Yet, no matter where I live or whether or not I am employed, I am old. That part I kinda like. I do like. In two and a half months I seem to have turned the corner to accepting and embracing. Despite the glasses and the funky feet, I’m tickled to think of myself as an old lady. I will never try to hide my age. I’m proud as punch that I look good enough and feel great and have a ton of laughter, love, and beauty in my life.
“When I reflect on my life at 70, I begin with a holistic snapshot—that includes family, friends, and recreation. I end by thinking more and more about the role of work in my life, and the role of work in the lives of other women my age. We are mothers and grandmothers and wives and partners but perhaps above all we—I don’t think I’m the only one—identify ourselves by our work. Who will I be when I no longer have a title? Who will I be without a paycheck? On what stage will I express my creativity and desire to contribute?”
Anonymous, Age 70