71 The second time around

Posted on March 9, 2013 by Blog Mavens

Amy Bryant, Age 71+

According to the calendar, my 72nd birthday is coming up; and calendars don’t lie. Neither do I as a rule, but this year I’ll be making an exception and I will tell the big lie.

The thought of 72 makes me shudder. For me, that was the year that defined old age with its white hair, wrinkles, and granny fat. Don’t get me wrong, I love having grandkids, it’s just that I’m more the flamboyant, redhead Nana.

Seventy-one was a great year. Newly single (for the third time in my life), moving into an enchanting town, living in the midst of the woods with bayside waters a few paces away; I was surrounded by friendly, creative, loving people. Having reinvented myself as an author, I joined Safety Harbor Writers and Poets.Resurrecting my passion for dance, I joined a local Flash Mob group, performing at street fairs, parades, and the Dali Museum to name a new. 71 was a perfect year; and I intend to keep it that way.

Despite my Medicare card, the big slap in the face of 65, that birthday held no regrets. Perhaps because it was softened by a celebration, given by my kids, and reuniting me with lifelong friends.

I survived several other age-defining years. Remember “don’t trust anyone over 30?” Well at 30, I was long legged, pregnant, and mini-skirt clad; a perfect combination to get me over that fearsome hurdle.

At 50, I was newly single and newly married, each for the second time. Usually mistaken for 35, and being “hit on” by men in their late 20s, I sailed through that milestone without flinching.Except for my AARP membership that my mother, in a fit of mischief, gave me as a birthday gift.

Despite my Medicare card, the big slap in the face of 65, that birthday held no regrets. Perhaps because it was softened by a celebration, given by my kids, and reuniting me with lifelong friends.

So here I am, at the close of my 71st year. A year filled with newness, adventure, some challenges, but mostly the feeling of adolescent freedom and wonder. You think I’m giving that up? Not anytime soon. So when you wish me Happy Birthday and sing, “how o-old are you?” I’m going to lie, totally guilt free, because this year I’m going to be 71…the second time around.

Posted in About turning 70, Ageism anecdotes, HUMOR, Looking ahead, Stories | Tagged , | 1 Comment

What’s next?

Posted on February 24, 2013 by Blog Mavens

Shirley, Age 77

I just found this website. I am 77 and had just retired from my second career last June (child care) and had my right knee replaced in mid-September. I am realizing the importance of keeping fit. I plan on joining a gym this week so I don’t lose what I worked so hard to gain during outpatient physical therapy. I live in the Pacific Northwest and I don’t enjoy walking in the rain, a gym makes sense.

I do miss working and am pondering what to do next. Since my surgery, I am getting around with a cane, but still use a walker if outdoors on uneven terrain. Reading is something I enjoy very much, however, I’m ready (almost) to become more active. Any advice would be welcome. Since the age of 15, I have worked, worked, worked – now what? I am blessed with supportive friends, but they are married and I have been divorced 40 years. My only child, a son in his mid-forties, just moved to AZ … so now what’s next?

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Power of positive thinking

Posted on February 20, 2013 by Blog Mavens

Kathi, Almost 70

I turn 70 in about 10 days and am probably happier now than I have been for a long time. I never thought I’d be in the position I am in at this point in my life, but it’s not something I can’t cope with. I have been divorced twice and am now living in a senior apartment with rental assistance, as I have a low income. I went to work about eight months ago in a four year program for low income seniors. It is great, as it gives me a little extra money to spend, and gives my life more purpose.

I live in the Midwest where I have lived most of my life. After graduating from high school, I went right to work and soon after got married. My husband and I moved out of state for about half a year, returning to raise a family. My second marriage took me out of state for six years, but I’m happy to be back to my roots and my family.

I know I have made some bad choices in my life, but looking back, I don’t think I would change anything. Along with the bad was good and I try to remember those times. I am thankful for so many wonderful experiences I have had in my life. I don’t have many regrets as all the times, good and bad, helped to make me who I am today. It is hard for me to imagine that I am the age I am, as I feel much younger and am told I look younger. I, by no means, feel like I’m nearing the end of my life. There are places I want to go and things I want to do. My health is good, so there is no reason why I shouldn’t go out and stimulate my mind and meet new people. Maybe something will change in my life that will give me the opportunity to travel, as that is really the only thing I would still like to do.

My mother always talked about the ‘power of positive thinking’ and I’m glad she instilled that in me, as it has helped me over the years. I dreaded turning forty and laugh about that now. I don’t dread turning 70, I’m enjoying it!

Posted in Stories | 2 Comments

One day at a time

Posted on January 26, 2013 by Blog Mavens

Sarah, Age 72

I’m 72 years young because I feel like I’m sweet sixteen and ready to go anywhere at anytime even when my knees are killing me.

I worked 27 years for a retail store in the training & development department that trained young executives in becoming buyers for the store. I also worked in the video department that put together the scripts for the celebration of Fortnights of different countries. I took an early retirement from there to work at two catholic churches until I turned 65.

I had all kinds of plans of doing this and that when I retired; especially travel was most on my mind. We did do some travelling but found out real quickly that to do that it takes a lot of money, so we slowed down a bit.

My interests are now focused on taking walks when my knees don’t hurt; learning to cook new recipes; doing a little sewing every-once-in-a-while. I have also volunteered to work a couple of days out of the week at the church I attend. What I like the most is spending good quality time with my grandchildren, especially when they don’t have school.

My husband is 75 and we’re so fortunate to be able to do things together, relax and take one-day-at-a-time.

Posted in Family matters, Our bodies, our health, Technology and contemporary culture, Traveling, Work life and retirement | Leave a comment

Pondering the “last great event of a person’s life”

Posted on January 22, 2013 by Blog Mavens

Lynn, Age 62

Working on my Retirement Project I came across “70candles” and was immediately drawn in, especially by the phrase “The baby boomers are fast on our heals, and want to know what lies ahead.” I’m one of those Baby Boomers, and I have become absolutely fascinated with how we, individually and culturally, respond to aging. Recently retired, age 62, from my final employment career as a RN. I received my B.S. in Nursing at age 55, and have a B.A. in Biology and a M.A. in Theology. I only mention these because they, also have important roles in my world view.

During the last 5 years I worked as a Visiting Nurse in an upstate NY college town. It wasn’t the kind of nursing I thought I’d be doing but I fell in love. I experienced the incredible privilege to be present with patients, and their families and friends, through the process of long- or short-term illnesses, inevitable decline, and death. I have suffered with them though very hard decisions. I have comforted, advocated for, and rejoiced with as well. We were also managing health and decline.

It was this experience that inspired my Retirement Project, and it is this blog that inspired me to write this note. I want to help people be better prepared for, and more thoughtful about, the ramifications of the process of aging and inevitable decline; what can we reasonably expect? and how might our responses and choices affect our families, friends, and/or society?

The bottom line is that we, as a culture, continue to fear dying. Yet, in spite of the vast resources available, including Living Wills, Advanced Directives, Palliative Care, and Hospice only a very small percentage of our population uses even these. We may even have Wills, and Life Insurance but we don’t usually talk about it until there is no other choice. The saddest part is that we have turned the process of dying & death into the most negative thing in our lives, rather than seeing and experiencing it as a wondrous thing to behold. We prepare for births by learning about the process, we go through the process with some reasonable understanding of what to expect, and we celebrate the outcome- the first great event of a person’s life. Should we do no less for the last great event of a person’s life?

I know that this blogspot is dedicated to “Flourishing” and few people might relate talking about the process of decline as an example of “Flourishing,” but I think we have a big opportunity. That’s why I’m reaching out to my sisters engaged in “this Longevity Revolution.” Because if this is “the revolution” what will it look like when so many more Baby Boomers are 70+?

So I’ve been taking informal surveys and pondering about how I can develop this Retirement Project idea. You have a lot of wisdom and experience among you and I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions.

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, Looking ahead, Our bodies, our health | 7 Comments

Follow your bliss

Posted on December 20, 2012 by Blog Mavens

Arline, Age 70

Thank you for this opportunity for me and any women seventy’ish to share their stories.

About ten months prior to turning seventy, I told my husband that I would like to celebrate my seventieth birthday in Italy. I turned seventy on September 30th, 2012. He said, “what?” And I repeated my request. He quickly agreed and we began to plan a month’s vacation to Italy.

Italy had been a dream of mine ever since I was a freshman in college, taking a course in Ancient History. I had this desire to see the Collesium, Pompeii, Rome and many other ancient sites. This dream took quite some time to reappear and seemed to come bubbling up, almost a year before my seventieth. Perhaps it was because seventy began to feel like I was really getting older, and that I wouldn’t have forever to experience such a trip. Given that my husband and I are active, physically fit people with lots of energy, I felt the time was right.

Now almost two months past our return, I am still in awe of that magical country. We traveled from the Dolomites to Amalfi, and many places in between; dinner in Rome with our tour group on the night of my birthday, a night at La Scala to hear and see La Boehm. That was a pleasant surprise as we were able to get Galleria tickets the same day of the performance, and jumped through hoops to do so. We both teard up at the first aria duet. Hiking in the Cinque Terre was another high point literally and figuratively.

So, without going on and on….go for it. Seventy is as vibrant an age as we make it given our state of health, but perhaps more importantly, our state of mind.

I feel so alive from this experience, and also wonder where we might choose to go next in this wonderful world. Following our bliss at this point in our lives seems natural and important. What is your bliss at this time?

Posted in About turning 70, Traveling | 3 Comments

Retiring But Not Shy-A new book edited by Ellen Cole and Mary Gergen

Posted on December 6, 2012 by Blog Mavens

Retiring But Not Shy: Feminist Psychologists Create their Post-Careers (Cole & Gergen, 2012).

A review by Ellen Cole
adapted from the Feminist Psychologist Newsletter

This, of course, cannot be an objective book review. What I want to give you, however, is a sense of the vigor and the excitement, on the one hand, and the complexity, on the other, represented by “our” authors when they describe or envision their “retiring” lives. The chapter titles, themselves, tell a tale. Janis Sanchez-Hucles asks, To Stay or to Leave: What Are Retirement Options for a Feminist Woman of Color in the 21st Century? Nancy Schlossberg describes, “Creating a Lifetime of Possibilities: Moving On, not Moving Out”; and Stephanie Shields in “Do We Have Any Mustard: The Challenges of a Retired Spouse” writes of her domestic relationship. In her chapter, Bonnie Strickland describes the saga of being retired and then un-retired. Diane Willis writes of her finding meaning in retirement. Martha Banks examines some of the connections between disability and “early” retirement.

In her back-cover endorsement, APA and Division 35’s Past-President Melba Vasquez wrote, “…Readers (women and men, retired or not) will laugh and cry and relate to the humbling parts of life. We can all be inspired to make choices now to have meaningful and rich futures.” Michelle Fine, who wrote the book’s gorgeous introduction (Mary Gergen calls it a prose-poem), says this:
The writers are stunning as scholars and activists, and as a collective they are our Wonder Women. These are the women who dared to challenge disciplinary definitions of sex and gender; sexuality and identity; health and illness; beauty and femininity; science and narrative. So why am I surprised that in the tradition of radical feminism, these incredible women have also, individually and collectively, “queered” the definition of retirement? (p.20)

Who might be interested in this book? We believe it would be appropriate for professional women thinking of retirement at any age; teachers for courses on aging, women’s studies, adult education, biography, diversity, and the life‐span; anyone wanting a gift of life for a friend or family member; workshop leaders involved with mentoring, tenure, aging, retirement; and so on. You may order it online at www.taospub.net or email info@taosinstitute.net. It is available as an e-book or paperback at amazon.com.

Posted in Looking ahead, Read Stories, What we're reading, Work life and retirement | 1 Comment

Thanks-giving

Posted on November 27, 2012 by Blog Mavens

Elizabeth, Age 77

I am 77 and when my knees don’t hurt I feel like 47!

For 20 years until January, I worked for a florist, but got laid-off (he down-sized) at the beginning of 2012. The thing I liked most about working was the social network it provided; I miss being surrounded by people on a daily basis. However, I’m a gym rat now, my house is cleaner, and I don’t have to grocery-shop for a week’s groceries.

I am content being my age, because so many of my friends have serious health problems and have had to limit their activities. My husband and I feel fortunate that we are still able to do the things we like. He’s still working, 3 days a week, and still enjoying it.

Posted in Gratitude and Spirituality, Our bodies, our health, Work life and retirement | Leave a comment

Atlantic article about women in their 70s!

Posted on November 23, 2012 by Blog Mavens

Ellen was interviewed for this interesting article about our generation.

http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2012/11/what-boomer-women-can-learn-about-aging-from-gasp-older-women/265356/

Read and enjoy!

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, About turning 70, Family matters, Gratitude and Spirituality, Looking ahead, Stories, Technology and contemporary culture, What we're reading, Work life and retirement | Leave a comment

Making informed choices

Posted on November 23, 2012 by Blog Mavens

Pat, Age 72

Well, I don’t believe that “all things happen for a reason” or that what happens to you is part of “God’s plan”…sorry! I have found now that I am 72, that I have had to make choices (not always good ones), plan what I want to happen, then go for it and see what occurs. Some of my planning (remember the books “What Color is Your Parachute” and “Who Moved My Cheese”) worked out with perseverence. I also watched other women whom I wanted to emulate and was inspired. None of us got where we are by ourselves.

My mother had a college degree but my father did not want her to work…she did not really want to work, either, but she never used her brains “in the world.” Her self-confidence was lacking, possibly because of the expectations others put on what she should or should not be doing or interested in. I also saw when she was widowed at 42 that she had no idea how to handle the family finances. I vowed that would NOT be me, so I took a course in the stock market and learned as much as I could before I bought insurance or hired a broker.

I remember arguing with a young male insurance salesman whom we invited to our house. My husband and I wanted to get term insurance and the salesman argued with me as he wanted us to buy the more lucrative for him “whole life”. I almost came to blows!

I learned a lot going back to college when I was 37 and being helped by the Women’s Center there and women’s right speakers/authors such as Robin Morgan. Young women should not be afraid to ask their sisters for advice and help.

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, Family matters, Financial Challenges, Work life and retirement | Leave a comment