Financial matters

Anonymous, Age 66

I was shocked last year when I realized I was 65. This year the additional year was no big deal. My story is not so great. I chose poorly when I remarried. We are now separated and I’ve had to go through bankruptcy proceedings. I’m now on a very limited income for the next five years. I will be 71 at that time and I feel it’s too late for me to accomplish anything in the way of security for the time I have left. I have a part-time job and my social security, which will cover my basic expenses until I’m ready to die.

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, Financial Challenges, Looking ahead | 2 Comments

“Young-old” with gratitude and angst

Nancy, Almost 70

Turning seventy in four days!

I read about this blog in the Taos Institute’s July 2012 Positive Aging Newsletter. I am delighted to find it just before my turning point in four days – a lovely birthday surprise! Turning sixty five and becoming Medicare-eligible was a turning point for me too. This was actually the first time I experienced some angst regarding aging. I am a counseling psychologist and organizational consultant. I worked primarily in medical centers and adult education. During the past five years I have learned more about and worked as a volunteer in the aging well field. I have been married for thirty four years, have two sons in their 20s who are still single and an extended family who live nearby. I hope for grandchildren in the near future. We live in the country near Seattle. I am active at Seattle University in multiple roles, volunteer in social justice and aging well projects, enjoy a robust spiritual, social and cultural life and delight in sailing the waters of Puget Sound and the Straits of Georgia.

I lead and participate in two aging well learning communities, one based in Ignatian Spirituality and one secular, which meet in-person monthly. One of them has met for three years. Being part of these communities is such a gift and opportunity for continued personal growth for all of us. We read books, view films, hold an annual Poetry Out-Loud Festival, have potluck dinners, go to community events and share our lives with one another resulting in laughter, tears, insight and rewarding relationships.

Turning seventy is a major transition for me. I am seeing myself as part of the “young-old” and have both gratitude and angst about the change. I am committed to age well with consciousness, courage and contribution. Having companions on the journey will help me follow through on that commitment. I am delighted by the invitation 70 Candles offers to join this virtual community. I accept with pleasure. Thank you for the invitation.

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Posted in About turning 70, Family matters, Gratitude and Spirituality, Looking ahead, Work life and retirement | 3 Comments

Live it up now!

Sandy, Age 70

When I turned 70 last January my 87 year old friend exclaimed “the 70’s were the best time of my life!” She also said the 80’s haven’t been too bad either. Her secret….staying healthy and active.

I have a lot of friends older than me, so I still feel like one of the younger ones. However, I’ve begun to spend money more freely, with the attitude of “I’d better live it up now as the end may be near”! Like one other woman said, I hope I don’t end up a “bag lady” living out of my car!

Thanks for this great idea…..don’t you just love what women are doing these days!

Posted in About turning 70, Our bodies, our health, Stories | Leave a comment

Looking forward

Pat, Age 68 years, 8 months

Today I met my sister-in-law for morning tea as it was her 70th birthday.
She was not happy at the realization that she was now 70, but I pointed out to her that it was a good achievement to now be at the age of 70 as she has had a happy life and good health. For you see my circumstances are different as I have suffered cancer in 2007, and again in 2009. I am now well, so when I will be 70 in December 2013, I will be very happy to have made it to that age.

Here’s looking forward to a happy & healthy future.

Posted in Gratitude and Spirituality, Looking ahead, Our bodies, our health | 2 Comments

Medical ironies

Barbara, Age 78

Don’t know if this is exactly a story, but I thought I’d tell you a couple of ironic things. I went to the dermatologist. While I was there I asked him about a kind of dark indent in my cheek. I’m overweight, but he told me it was from a lack of fat right there! I also have spider veins and some varicose veins on my legs. When I found a black spot on the back of my tongue, I had it checked out at the dentist. He said it was very definitely a varicose vein! I couldn’t believe it.

Posted in Our bodies, our health | Leave a comment

On my Birthday!

Sharon, Age 70

Life expectancy was never 70 when I was a child! At least you weren’t functioning as you had previously. I have been married twice, have 3 grown children, 1 step son and exchange children around the world. Awesome 5 grandchildren ages 26-2. Some days I feel too old for those little people. I was a school principal after my first marriage, got my CNA at age 66, worked in a home for elders for fun, now cut their hair 1x week, married a guy 12 years younger, work full time as a religious education director for our church. My life is great although I complain about aches and pains and weight!
I worry about the next 20 or so years. Have I saved enough money to survive, will I out live my cat? Stupid stuff. Mostly it is up to God as everything is “his plan”. My mom said “Life has been a great roller coaster ride.” She died at 96. We all have ups and downs and life goes on. There is so much I’d like to do, like finish beauty school which I dropped out of, but realistically I don’t have time.
I’m very fortunate. Blessed with relatively good health and a positive husband and extended families. Friends from long ago who join me in this 70th year.

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Paths toward retirement-from women’s gatherings

There are as many ways of exiting a career as there are women who work. Following are some of the comments from women in our 70Candles gatherings, as they discussed the role of work in their lives and how they experienced the denoument of their careers.

“I love working. I have continued to work, off and on.”

“Earning money is a sense of security for me. The idea of not working gives me a sense of being unsafe, so I continue to want to work.”

“Work is important to me I really identify with my work role.”

“I’ve worked, but that’s not who I am. I think it’s unfortunate if you have to identify yourself by your work.”

“I’m in favor of the balance in life. If you’re having fun and something gives you pleasure, then why do you feel pressure to give up working?”

I had a hard time when I stopped working. It took me about a year to adjust. The loss of my mangagement role, being a boss of something, was difficult for me. But I am busier now, running around in a new routine, than I ever was.

I don’t know who I am when I’m no longer a pediatrician.

“I loved my job, and was afraid to stop teaching. There was a wonderful mix of people in the school, and I was working with my closest friends. I don’t make transitions easily so when I retired, I immediately wanted to return to teach.
Then, my replacement went on leave, and I was asked to come back. It only took 5 minutes back there, and I knew I wanted out.”

I was a teacher before my children were born. Then, I became what is known as a “Professional Volunteer,” and I will never retire.

“I retired almost 15 years ago. I was a teacher—a kindergarten teacher—and it’s the only thing I ever wanted to do. About a year before I retired I was overwhelmed by this sense of anxiety. I knew it was time, but I wasn’t ready yet, so I took an extra year. When I went back a year later and saw what the new, younger teacher was doing I said, ‘Gee, I never thought of that,’ and I knew I had made the right decision.”

I have nightmares that I’m back teaching in High School!

My industry is so technologically challenging for people our age. We’re dealing with people in their 30s and 40s who grew up with computers, and we didn’t. For them, it’s natural; for us it’s a learning experience and a daily challenge.

“I retired early, and knew I wanted to learn to paint. I went to the senior center for classes, and then stuck with it. It is my passion now. ”

More to come……

Posted in Stories, Work life and retirement | 1 Comment

Cold feet

Anonymous

Soon after I retired, I was asked out to lunch by my retired friends. As I walked toward the restaurant, it started to rain. I felt my feet getting wet, and when I looked down, I discovered I had walked out in my bedroom slippers!

I went went back to work.

Posted in HUMOR, Stories, Work life and retirement | Leave a comment

Viewing a 50th College Reunion

Jane, Age 72

“Inside every older person, is a younger person….wondering what happened!”

High on a hillside, overlooking a lake, gorges with creeks run through the campus, leaf laden trees and flowers abound…still a magnificent tableau, although so much has been added over the years. The large modern library, brand new when we were students, now sports a weathered patina, as it blends in with the historic fieldstone buildings in the quad. Dramatic and somewhat stark contemporary buildings punctuate the landscape, demonstrating various architectural trends of this new century.

At first glance the reunion-goers, gathering at the dorm assigned to our class, appear to be wearing the guises of their grandparents; though similarities to the kids we knew then are unmistakable. We feel a tinge of nostalgia, and still treasure the many friendships formed so many decades ago.

A yearbook, distributed earlier, on a CD, distills these fifty years in individual lives and serves as an introduction to this signature event. Perusing the women’s bios, I see stories of past and present as well as many visions of things to come.

One woman’s honest assessment of her life thus far:
“A good life, with twists and turns like a river.”

Remembering times past-
To refresh our memories of what life was like back in the old days, there was a panel presentation, highlighted by a video collage, of interviews with several classmates. We were reminded that we were in an Eisenhower era cocoon during our college days, somewhat insulated from the percolating political landscape in the country. But were reminded, that on our very campus, there were blatant acts of prejudice, perpetrated against the few students of color and against the women, who were at that time, just one quarter of the student body.

It wasn’t until we graduated that many of us became involved in the civil rights movement, marched against the war in Viet Nam and had our consciousness raised in the early feminist movement. We grew up quickly after we left the Hill. Although women faced prejudice and discrimination in the early 1960’s, we soldiered on as the vanguard of females in professional schools of business, law and medicine, and in emerging corporate roles across the country. We reached beyond the “nurse secretary or teacher” options voiced by our parents.

Stories from women of this class of 1962 were about advanced degrees, career tracks that altered over the years. Raising families; some divorcing, re-marrying, some widowed. Health issues abounded…but did not stop the flow. New knees, hips, Cancer survival…all reminders of mortality, and the fragility of this life.

The Present-
Women in this reunion class are in various stages of transition at this point in their lives. While some at universities keep teaching and doing research, others have retired and found new pursuits. Some are still working part-time, or volunteering during the week, keeping a hand in areas that intrigue them. Others are continuing to travel to find adventure. The artists are exploring richer paths, exhibiting their work, engaging with talented people of all ages.

Stories abound of parents that need caretaking, and children who have moved back home.

Options of living arrangements are explored as some pull up roots and move, even across the country, to settle near children and grandchildren. Some just downsize in the same city, while others hang on to the family homestead, ready for visiting family and friends to fill all the rooms.
Some invest in experimental living arrangements. In co-housing, a group of people purchase land together and individuals or families build their own dwellings. The community tries to work as a unit, sharing common areas and an eventual clubhouse. But alas, the different generations have differing points of view. What about the age peers? Well they are all cut of different cloth, and don’t necessarily get along. So much for the ideal community.

The Future-
This group is not standing still, or just sitting at home. On to new adventures they go, with greater appreciation of how finite our time on this earth is. We read the long list of classmates who have died and know that it’s all a crap shoot. Our names could be there as well…and will be eventually.
The woman who had a near death experience with cancer, told me she’s kinder and feels more compassionate now than she used to be. The author with the two knee replacements swims or bikes every day, and has just completed two bicycle races. An advocate for good nutrition, she tells us that the Greeks’ goal was to “die young as late in life as possible.”
The retired Home Economics teacher who moved with her husband from the east coast to the west, to be near their grandchildren, is energized by the hills and mountains she can now hike, and feels enriched by the generous church group she’s become part of, volunteering in the community and in local schools.

We’re reminded that we must live like there’s no tomorrow….today is really all we have. Make it a good day.

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, Stories | 1 Comment

The Perfect Pie

Constance, Age 76

I wanted to learn to bake the perfect pie. At my age, 76, why a pie? I can buy a pie at Costco. Pies are fattening and have everything in them that we are not supposed to eat; white flour, sugar, and fat. Baking messes up the kitchen. If that’s not bad enough – the time I am taking to bake a pie takes away from all the things I should be doing like checking my email or cleaning a closet of old memorabilia; but over the past couple of years I kept remembering the perfect pie dough recipe in the “Cooks Illustrated” magazine I picked up on a whim at the check stand at the Twain Harte Market on the way to the cabin –why on earth a cooking magazine? I’m sick and tired of cooking after 56 years of it, every day.

Flipping through the magazine I came across the recipe for the “perfect” piecrust. I thought, “no pie can ever compete with Jim’s grandmother Mimmy’s pies” and my cooking self esteem had hit an all time low. When Jim retired he took over the bragging rights of stuff I used to do in the kitchen, and my sister in law took over making ravioli and Christmas dinner. I became the deposed matriarch and was no longer Queen of Holiday dinners. I no longer had bragging rights or self esteem in the kitchen – art achievements don’t count for much within the greater family circle. I put the magazine in my binder of quick, easy, healthy recipes so that every now and then I would look at the pie recipe.

What intrigued me the most about this perfect pie dough was one ingredient that could make my pie dough stand head and shoulders above the rest; VODKA. I hate vodka, I’ve hated it ever since I overdosed at a party years ago (another time, another story) and had the only hangover of my life. I was not about to buy vodka to make a pie that was unhealthy anyway. The pie dough recipe was fun to look at now and then, sort of like looking at outlandish shoes at Nordstrom’s, the ones that are completely inappropriate, uncomfortable and bad for your feet. I have to try them on anyway. In the back of my mind the pie recipe was stored alongside thoughts and desires for inappropriate shoes.

Last year after a wonderful Christmas at Sandra’s (her last she decided – our combined families have grown too much), we took a trip to the cabin to recover from Christmas. While putting our groceries from Twain Harte market into the refrigerator my heart did a double flip; there on the shelf was a half full bottle of vodka left by the kids that last used the cabin.

The vodka came home with us and sat in our refrigerator for months. Life went on as usual. Finally it was June, time for Jim to put in the garden and anticipate the fresh, sweet blackberries ripening; the only problem was we had eight pounds or more of blackberries in the freezer. Jim is a perfectionist when it comes to stuff in the freezer; we grow enough berries and tomatoes to supply a fruit stand so what is not eaten or given away gets frozen. He wanted to throw out last year’s perfectly good berries.

I hate to waste food, money and time so I thought “what have I got to loose? My kitchen self esteem was at an all time low; the vodka was taking up space, along with the berries and the old magazine. Take a chance, to hell with cleaning and checking email, I don’t feel like painting.” Besides, I thought, “the Mike Bailey painting idea (painting the same damn still life 20 times till you loosen up) might work with pies.” So I took the plunge.

I sent Jim shopping for the forbidden ingredients, the Crisco, the white flour and unsalted butter. I googled blackberries to fine a recipe for the perfect pie filling then quickly emailed the coffee group that meets on Friday to come to our house the next day for pie, so I would not back out of this risky business. I cleared the kitchen counters and waited for Jim to be occupied elsewhere so I would not have him making comments about how I should do stuff.

I hurriedly made the pie dough exactly as directed then stashed it in the fridge as per “Cooks Illustrated” instructions, then went on with the blackberry filling recipe. The dough was then just right for rolling out, by now my counters were a complete mess but the pie went into the oven. Forty-five minutes later the pie came out of the oven picture perfect. Sunday I baked my fifth and sixth pies. I aim for 20 berry pies.

My self-esteem in the kitchen has recovered enough to make use of our lemons, which are 60 to 70 cents each, at the store, but fall on the ground here. My next adventure will be the “perfect lemon pie” and then on to recreate Mimmy’s famous grated apple pie this fall.

Perhaps I will then use Wayne Thiebaud as my inspiration and paint pies. Why not! Thiebaud is in his 90’s and doing his best work. I am a mere 76. I still have time for perfect pies and painting.

Posted in HUMOR, Stories | 3 Comments