Unquenchable desire for Ongoingness

Posted on January 4, 2018 by Blog Mavens

Roseann,  Almost  70

I will be 70 years old tomorrow…Jan. 5, 1948 was my entrance into this world…

I just found this site, through the gift of the book “70 Things to Do When You Turn 70.” I work 28 hours a week as an addictions counselor and addictions educator- and today, due to the snow and frigid temperatures, our office is closed. How blessed am I- or I would not have picked up the book to read and discover your website.
Its funny, but the thought came to me to celebrate my birthday with all of you- who are also 70 and beyond…A sisterhood for sure. For we have lived, loved, laughed, cried, explored our Hearts and Souls, and are filled with an unquenchable desire for Ongoingness…I remember well a quote from Anne Frank’s diary- unbeknownst to her, that her diary would one day be found, she had written, ” I want to go on living even after my death…” And so she has- and didn’t have to plan it or manipulate it to make it happen. I kind of feel like that- I want to go on living even after my death. And I realize that the best way to do that is to live well, making beautiful memories with every person who touches my day…open to the imprint that they make upon me, and humbly grateful that I can- in some way- also create an imprint of memory upon them.

I told my friends that I did not want any birthday gifts this year- I have many scarves, books, bracelets, candles, figurines of Angels and so on- and I cherish them all- but do not really need any more…I told them what I wanted from them is to spend time with them- that would be the best gift ever. I told them that they have 365 days in which to plan something with me for this birthday year- a breakfast, lunch or dinner at a local dinner, a trip to the ocean, a day in the city, a trip to the gardens, a spiritual workshop, a concert etc. ( I will pay my own way- the gift is the gift of time…) Something special- and it had to be for more than just one hour! We are always rushing, rushing, living life in time slots…The gift is to spend quality time and just BE together in the precious moment. I will take photographs of each wonderful “Being Together Day,” and make a book of it…

This is my dream and I will let you know how it turns out!
So to all those on this website, may I offer my hello to you and thank you for being here, on the eve of my 70 th Birthday…It is cold and snowy outside (actually, its freezing and tomorrow is supposed to be worse!) but I feel warm and loved within…I hope to be here a long time- for I do so enjoy and am in awe of the Journey…I hope that is part of the Soul Plan…There are so many Hearts I have yet to meet, so many places yet to see, so many words yet to write, so many prayers yet to pray…Happy Birthday to me and to all of you…Each day can be a new Birth Day…

Thank you for listening- and for helping me celebrate this special time of my life…

Posted in 70candles, About turning 70, Goals ahead, Gratitude and Spirituality, Looking ahead, Networking, Older women connecting, Resilience | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Posted on December 31, 2017 by Blog Mavens

We send our very best wishes to all the women who are part of our 70Candles! family.

Your wise and heartfelt participation continues to make this blog a place of warmth, comfort and inspiration for women everywhere.

May 2018 be a year of health, friendship and fulfillment for you all.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Jane and Ellen

Posted in 70candles, Gratitude and Spirituality, Looking ahead, Older women connecting | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Ireland-to do as I like

Posted on December 11, 2017 by Blog Mavens

Pam,  Age 74

Hi all,
I’m 74 and not finished. I would like to accomplish one more item on my to do list, which is to travel back to Ireland alone. Spend a few weeks/months just doing my stuff. Many years ago I visited Ireland with my spouse (at the time), but didn’t feel free to do some of the things that I wanted to do. I plan to rent a car and travel, but not sure about driving on the wrong side of the road. I don’t want to take a bus tour. I would also like to rent a cottage to do my writing and just do as I like. Any feed back would be welcome.

Posted in 70candles, Goals ahead, Looking ahead, Networking, Older women connecting, Traveling | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Am I too late?

Posted on December 3, 2017 by Blog Mavens

Valerie,  Age, 697

I have read some of the submissions and really like that the two of you want to hear about how we flourish. At least that’s what I heard, or understood. What about if I didn’t flourish. What about the rude awakening that what I thought I was doing was living, not realizing, that I was sliding quickly into 70!

I divorced after 24 years, my 4th marriage! I was raised by a mom who had three children, by three different husbands. I had two sons, with two different husbands. I was not encouraged to go to college, my step dad was unfit, I was banished at 17 and had to find my own place to live.

I was ill a great deal during my life, have had many many surgeries, didn’t ever make a career out of the opportunities that were afforded to me. WISH so much that I had, now. Had no financial training, don’t have retirement locked up. Never knew who I was or what I wanted to do.

Did a lot of not so good things in my mid life. Took care of both my parents before they died. Although they were not married for many years, and I missed that very much.

I would like to know, am I too late, will I make it to a happy place? Why didn’t I become the woman I see you have become? I am grateful but afraid, and hope and pray, although I am not very good at that, either, that I can someday believe that I did my best, with the tools I had and that I tried so very hard.

I have recently met two woman who will turn 70 this summer with me. We are so different and all shocked that we are 70! I am so glad I met them, we will celebrate and flourish as we do.

Take care,
Valerie

Posted in 70candles, About turning 70, Caretaking, Family matters, Finances, Networking, Older women connecting | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Mothering middle-aged women

Posted on November 30, 2017 by Blog Mavens

Sandra Butler,  Age 79

Hello everyone,

As I approach my 80th birthday and move into my next decade of candles, I’m delighted to let you know about my newest book, It Never Ends: Mothering Middle-Aged Women written with close friend and colleague Nan Gefen, and published by She Writes Press.

As mothers enter the last decades of our lives, the historic roles we’ve held with our daughters often shift and change in complicated ways. Now that we are no longer central in caring for them as we once were, many women report experiencing a recalibrating of authority, autonomy, and independence.

It Never Ends is a long overdue exploration of the complex challenges and unexpected rewards of aging mothers in their relationships with their midlife daughters. Based on interviews with women between 65 and 85, we illuminate the complex issues of closeness, distance, longing, and need that arise. Mothers reflect upon the ongoing effects of the past on the present, the cultural, familial, and interpersonal conflicts that remain, and the varied and often invisible ways they continue mothering. The book reveals mothers’ courage as they reflect on the mistakes they’ve made, acknowledge their regrets, and search to come to terms with their relationships as they now are.

I’m delighted to join you on these pages and eager to hear your response, thoughts, questions and ideas about how this conversation can move forward.

Posted in 70candles, Caretaking, Family matters, Parenting, Share your story | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Positive Aging: A dialog with the authors

Posted on November 19, 2017 by Blog Mavens
The Taos Institute, purveyors of the Positive Aging Newsletter, and publishers of three books about aging well, recently hosted a week-long online chat and webinar. The books are 70Candles! Women Thriving in Their 8th Decade, (Giddan & Cole), Retiring But Not Shy: Feminist Psychologists Create Their Post-Careers, (Cole & Gergen, Eds.), and Pathways to Positive Aging: Dog Days with a Bone and Other Essays, (Gergen & Gergen).
Participants from far and wide joined authors, Jane Giddan, Ellen Cole and Mary Gergen, in discussing a range of topics important to those studying, and those experiencing, life in this era of extended longevity.
The 1.5 hour live webinar was videotaped, and is available for viewing, at https://taoslearning.ning.com
We hope after you see it you’ll share with our 70Candles! community, your ideas and reactions to any of the many the themes presented…..Join the conversatiion anytime, here on our 70candles.com blog.
We look forward to reading your postings.
Jane and Ellen
Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, 70candles, Ageism anecdotes, Dealing with loss, Family matters, Financial Challenges, Grandparenting, Gratitude and Spirituality, HUMOR, Men aging, Networking, Older women connecting, Resilience, Share your story, Work life and retirement | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Dialogue with the authors- Our Taos webinar

Posted on November 11, 2017 by Blog Mavens

For those interested, our week-long online chat and the video of our 1.5 hour- long webinar about Positive Aging, are available for viewing at this link:

http://taoslearning.ning.com

The blog there continues on, so feel free to add your comments.

Let us know what you think!

Posted in 70 from other perspectives: looking forward and looking back, 70candles, Ageism anecdotes, Dealing with loss, Financial Challenges, Grandparenting | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

So glad I found you!

Posted on November 5, 2017 by Blog Mavens

Jan,  Age 71

I am 71. I work full time at a challenging job. I exercise a lot. I have a loving family and friends of all ages. My life is good….but I feel isolated.

I don’t have a peer group. I see very few women my age who are still working full time. I live in the suburbs of a small Massachusetts city, and I don’t see any working women my age. I am one of the oldest people in my company. I worry they are going to decide I’m simply too old and try to put me out to pasture. Who would hire someone my age?

I would love to have a working buddy my age to share the challenges and silly things that go along with this age. I consider myself fairly tech savvy, but that didn’t stop me from trying to plug my computer in the Wii instead of the modem. Share that story with younger people and they think you are ready to be put out to pasture.

Or, how can I explain to a 40 year old that my brain just froze in the middle of trying to pronounce a difficult word and that it needs to be rebooted? They surely will think that’s a sign of dementia instead of a normal part of a multi-tasking life.

Stumbling over this group and finding your book has been a blessing. Thank you all for being there and for sharing your journeys.

Jan

 

Posted in 70candles, Networking, Older women connecting, Technology and contemporary culture, Work life and retirement | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

I want much more…

Posted on October 27, 2017 by Blog Mavens

Pat,  Age 70

I turned 70 this week…15 years ago, my husband moved out of our bedroom and never returned…but we live together, and at this point, are friends. But we went through years of fights and hatred. He says he doesn’t remember any of it. I am here because it is easier. And he can pay the bills.
But, I have not been touched or held in 15 years,,,
I want much more than I have…but at 70, who would even begin to want me?

Posted in 70candles, About turning 70, Dating after 70, Finances, Men aging, Our bodies, our health | Tagged , , , , , | 10 Comments

Mark your calendar! Dialogue with the authors online

Posted on October 25, 2017 by Blog Mavens

POSITIVE AGING: A WEEK IN DIALOGUE WITH THE AUTHORS JANE GIDDAN, ELLEN COLE, AND MARY GERGEN

November 6 – 10, 2017

Posted by Dawn Dole, Taos Institute

Monday – Thursday, November 6-10, we will engage in conversation online in a virtual, asynchronous web space. Sharing stories, asking questions, learning, exploring with the authors and the others who join in online.

Friday, we will close the week with a live webinar with the authors Jane Giddan, Ellen Cole, and Mary Gergen. We hope you will join in all week, at your own pace and schedule, and then culminate the week with the live webinar.

This Week in Dialogue with the Authors will focus on Positive Aging through the lens of three books. The authors contribute to a growing appreciation of the aging process while challenging the longstanding view of aging as decline. By focusing on the positive aspects of aging, retirement and opportunities in our 8th decade and beyond, these authors explore the availability of resources, skills, and resiliencies. They bring useful insights and stories into the realm of practice but create hope and empower action among older people. By moving beyond the stereotypes of repair and prevention, to emphasize growth-enhancing activities, we can contribute more effectively to the societal reconstruction of aging. These books are great for anyone who is interested, engaged and oriented toward continuing enrichment over the life course.

THE BOOKS:

PATHS TO POSITIVE AGING: DOG DAYS WITH A BONE AND OTHER ESSAYS, BY MARY GERGEN & KENNETH GERGEN
This book is a treasure trove for erasing the stereotypes that darken the vision of aging, and encountering the passing years as a marvelous gift. It is a persuasive document declaring that we are indeed fortunate to grow old. Reinventing aging is to focus on the gains of aging is to realize that the later years are among the richest and most rewarding of one’s life.

70CANDLES! WOMEN THRIVING IN THEIR 8TH DECADE, BY JANE GIDDAN & ELLEN COLE
As they turned 70, the authors of 70Candles! Women Thriving in Their 8th Decade set out to investigate how women their age and older were living their lives. They sought role models for themselves and messages for the droves of baby boomers on their heels. They were curious about the challenges and joys of their age-mates, their work and retirement status, living arrangements, family and social connections, and more. This book, informative and inspirational, describes what they found in their reading, their ongoing 70candles.com blog, and 70candles conversation groups held in various parts of the U.S.

RETIRING BUT NOT SHY: FEMINIST PSYCHOLOGISTS CREATE THEIR POST-CAREERS, EDITORS ELLEN COLE & MARY GERGEN
The stories in RETIRING BUT NOT SHY combine to produce an inspiring, poignant, funny, motivating rich mosaic on the stage of life, “retirement.” Whether these amazing feminist authors are “poised on the diving board,” in “the mid-air plunge,” or in “splash down and re-entry,” they provide very honest, informative personal and professional experiences and insights as they look back, as well as forward. It is a superb discourse on the variety of ways to engage with this stage of life. Readers (women and men, retired or not) will laugh and cry and relate to the humbling parts of life. We can all be inspired to make choices now to have meaningful and rich futures. — Melba Vasquez, PhD, ABPP

How to join in:

Monday – Thursday – visit this webpage every day for a few minutes. Read the posts, share, comment, and ask questions. Come as often as you like during the day and week.

Friday, Nov 10, 2017 10:00 AM Eastern Standard Time (US and Canada)- join the live webinar. To register for the webinar, go to this link:

Register at this link before Nov. 10th: https://taoslearning.ning.com

After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.

Posted in 70candles, Caretaking, Dealing with loss, Grandparenting, Looking ahead, Networking, Older women connecting, Resilience, Where to live, Work life and retirement | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments