Gloria, Age 74
Lately I have been ‘meeting’ men who have contacted me via an online dating site. My experiences have been so enlightening, and so funny, I feel compelled to share them with other women. I’ll start with one, and continue later.
Of course, I maintain the safety of only meeting in a public place and my last name is not known. I’m seeking men with whom I can share a dance or two, not looking for a mate.
The first date I accepted because the man stated he liked to dance and wanted to meet me at a local Italian restaurant. He called the morning of the date to ask if I minded that he had a cane…being a very accepting type of person I said, of course not. In reality, he had difficulty approaching me in the restaurant waiting area, even with his cane, and during dinner, he described that he recently returned after a stay in a rehab facility due to a back surgery, he had recovered from cancer and had also suffered a heart attack last year. As we departed the restaurant, since he could barely walk, I asked what type of dancing he could claim. As he headed toward his 1980 white Cadillac, he replied, ” of course I can slow dance.”
So be aware that some men our age are in denial of their health issues. So far 4 have needed canes, one was having dialysis 4x a week, one suffers constant vertigo and almost fell on me as he is very tall, I am short, and he bent down for a hug…saved by his cane!
Not easily dissuaded, I have met 14 men so far, for a first date. A few have been “several date worthy.” And I am seeing one weekly, but still “shopping”, and he knows that.
Anyone believe there is a really good dating site..and what is it..
Dating is very interesting and challenging at any age.
I am not so much still grieving for my deceased husband. It’s been three years and I’ve learned to live with my grief. What I miss is my old life. Yes I have friends, good kind friends. But it’s not enough. The embarrassing truth is that I am so lonely. I have lost my best friend and no amount of girl friends have been able to replace what I have lost. I try and keep myself busy. I have two volunteer jobs and am the main caregiver for my 92 year old mother. What I miss is someone caring for me. I wonder how many other seniors sit alone in their homes every night feeling this sorrow. I wish there was a way to connect this Lonely Hearts Club.
Judy, I keep coming back and reading your comment wishing that I had something comforting or wise to say in response. But I don’t.
It sounds as though you’re doing the best that you can do with your reality at this point. Your feelings of loss seem to be the unavoidable for the survivor of any happy relationship. I hope that life improves for you.
You’re approaching your online dating experiences with the right attitude, Gloria! I enjoyed reading about your adventures! I too decided to give it a try over the last three years and found it a confidence-building experience in my early 70’s. I met a half dozen men that peaked my interest.
Safety is a major consideration. I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone still in a vulnerable state of newly recovering from death/divorce from a spouse. Your advice about maintaining your privacy until you’ve allowed time to get a sense of where the encounter could go is wise. I always told a relative/friend when I was meeting someone. I had a few creepy encounters where I considered myself lucky.
All in all, I found it good to be able to enjoy a man’s company while having my feet planted firmly (somewhat) on the ground. There’s a lot of loneliness out there, as well as people our age fearing what’s next when it comes to the age-related illnesses that show up. Many want someone to take care of them which is fine if you mutually love each other. I’ve met a few that have inspired and added to my life in a positive way so all is good! 🙂
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Very interesting! Thanks for sharing your experiences. At 58 I decided to date and met a man 7 yrs younger. We’re still together and I think this works best as women are generally in better shape than men.