Hard to plan

Gen, Age 69

Hi, I’ll be 70 in November, I’ve been saying that I’m 70 all summer. I’m kinda proud that I made it – well, I know I’ve got two whole months left to be 69.

Right now I don’t want to go into all of the things that have gone wrong over the past 10 years or how seriously messed up I have been physically in these later years. But it’s such that I have all sorts of problems and I still work. There were days I spent in a wheelchair and had to learn how to walk again, I’m getting stronger every day. The worst of my problems are behind me for the time being, I think. I have a terminal illness also but I’m fighting it, don’t like to think about it and most of the time I do alright.

Like I said, I am very proud to be age 70 although – some days I just don’t know how I actually got here, it seems like yesterday and I was a young woman. I’m still the same inside but wiser, wish I’d done some things differently and I can see where I was just plain stupid – a lot, many things that I regret.

But I still enjoy life and I’m not going to let all the “junk” in my life get me down if I can help it. Life is too precious to let it slap me in the face with problems all the time. Get upset and I drink a glass of wine, sit on the porch under the stars at 2:00 AM and love just resting with the sounds of the night. Daytime, I’m pretty busy most of the time and I have so many hobbies I don’t usually get anything done, but they do keep my mind busy. I’m a pianist so that’s good too, keeps me young, I think, always loving music and I teach.

My only real gripe is that it’s hard to plan anything because with all of the physical problems I might have a good day physically or I might have to change plans,….. now – that does get old!

So, that’s my story.

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2 Responses to Hard to plan

  1. Sherry says:

    I’ll be 70 in October. I have wet macular degeneration and now am blind in one eye. I manage a bookstore in my local library so my eyesight is important to me. I won’t be able to drive much longer and fear loosing my independence. The future no longer looks appealing to me. I don’t want to wind up an old blind lady. Any hopeful thoughts out there?

  2. Gen says:

    I have dry macular degeneration. I am told by my doctor to go see her immediately if there are any changes in my vision, to look at the grid all the time. I don’t, but I know I should. What I wonder is where have you been with your doctoring? What treatments have they tried? I know that I would probably contact the world’s best eye clinics to see how to save the other eye. I also honestly believe that stress, nerves, being upset makes it worse, understand? And I know that you are under all of that kind of upsetting emotions. What about anti-depressants and tranquilizers. Because I promise you that every single time I get terribly upset my whole body takes a nose-dive and I just flat out get sick. I have even had vision problems such as when I first found out my mother had cancer, I could not read street signs and she couldn’t drive, it was horrible, but that went away…I’m just offering what I know – find ways to distress and I know that seems impossible, but try. Good luck to you and God bless.

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