Scared and sad

Judie, Age 69

I am finding I am almost panicked about turning 70. This will be a little past two weeks when “the day arrives” I am very depressed. I have no desire to go out much or do anything. It’s like I’m frozen. I have to admit that I am scared. I feel like my life is over, there’s nothing more worth anything to do in the world. I am feeling aches and pains that I didn’t have a year ago. I truley feel dead inside.

I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. My kids say things like, you don’t look 70, you will live into your 90’s. They don’t get it just as I never got it before this age. I am glad I found this website. I used to work in home health so I have met many patients that were 70 and beyond. Some just amazed me with their postive outlook even dealing with health problems. I don’t understand why having this information has not improved the way I’m feeling.

Jan 3rd 2014 will be the day it feels like my world is ending. I’m open to any advise. Hopefully my children are right and I still have several years ahead of me. I would like to enjoy them and not waste them.

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9 Responses to Scared and sad

  1. MARYANN FELA says:

    Age 70 is approaching tomorrow. Its a scary place. End of life comes to mind, last chapter of life etc. How does one get here so quickly. Suppose it just happens and one learns to accept it like all the other transitions in your life. Most of you I am sure have felt the uncertainty that turning seventy brings. Its very difficult for me to talk about myself. So with great difficulty I am asking you to help me with your thoughts, wisdom and your experience concerning this subject. Would love to hear YOUR feedback. Thank you very much. Maryann.

    • Blog Mavens says:

      Maryann welcome to 70Candles!
      You can just read down this Sad and Scared page to find inspiration from women with similar feelings. Other pages on our blog offer a plethora of ideas to consider. You might also find our book of interest,
      70Candles! Women Thriving in Their 8th Decade. It’s readily available on
      70 is actually much like 69. Face it with optimism not fear, for this decade will be what you make of it. Each day is yours to compose, and a chance to do what interests and pleases you. We all agree that daily exercise of some kind, and time in nature…even a walk around a neighborhood are stress releaving and energizing.
      Stay in touch with people as best you can, for social communication is essential.
      Think of what you are grateful for each day and go forth bravely.
      We’re here to hear how you’re doing.
      Jane and Ellen

  2. Penny says:

    I am feeling like you today. I turn 70 on Sunday. I feel empty. I retired at 69. Now I am secure no guessing myself.

  3. Malcolm Burn says:

    Looking at the dates of these posts this may be a bit late. You’ve probably heard a lot of people say age is “all in the mind.”. It really is. It doesn’t matter that you get aches and other stuff. The main thing is that you just accept whatever comes to you. None of it tied to a particular date on the calendar, It’s all about how YOU are doing on any particular day in any year. So I’m 71 and I’m still working 2 days a week as an instruction writer for DWP’s field procedures.
    I don’t want to pack up and can only envisage doing so if they put me under pressure to quit (which I don’t think they will}. I don’t feel any different and I bet you don’t either. So ignore anything with numbers in it and just live the future.

  4. Linda Morin says:

    I had very similar feelings…I dreaded turning 70, on January 15, 2014. Amazing that I still feel empty. I need to remember that for us the glass is near full and not near empty…Even when it is full you can still pour more life into it. Time will take its course I know but for me, finding the things that make me happy and smile is my goal.
    I retired at 68 and felt I just did not wan’t to die working for a company and on the phone most of the day. This has been a difficult decision to discern the benefits of working. I need to feel productive and this is important to me…A friend where I go to church told me that I deserve to retire and follow other dreams. I felt like you did and still do at times. Empty, dreading the inevitable decline.
    I have some problems with nerve roots and am in some pain a lot of the time. But, I have learned to push on, and if I work too hard and pain comes, I just rest the next day. I feel better after writing this note.
    We have all seen so much. Lived through so much and have contributed so much. I have a wonderful son, loving relatives, and the mobility to still do things and go places. I read a line the other day…”Getting older is a privilege”… not quite able to feel this, but trying.

  5. I had similar misgivings in the run-up to 70. Lots of thoughts about how quickly the sands of time were running out and how little time I had left. And then an amazing thing happened. The day after my birthday all that fretting disappeared. I wish the same for you.

  6. dot says:

    Hi Judy,
    Hang in there woman…it’s just one more day in your life. Turning 70 is just one more number in a long list hopefully! I will be turning 71 on March 12, 2014 and it will be just another number for me. It won’t slow me down, it won’t cause me pain or will it change what I will do. I have good health and I think we all have some pains and aches along the way…I have a 25 year old grand daughter who wakes every day in terrific pain from a near fatal auto acident when had two years ago. That won’t get better, just worse because of her broken back and neck. My daugher who is 47 wakes with pain and has it most of the day while suffering from Chronic Lyme Disease. I have not had either of these issues and I thank God every day for that. Cherish your days…your hours…months and your health. Live today like it’s your last. See funny movies…visit farmer’s markets…take up volunteer work…have friends over for lunch….hike…read….take hot baths and know that you are among a growing number of women who are there with you and beside you. Be grateful and thankful in your heart for every day and celebrate your life on a daily basis. You are one of the very lucky women in this world who will see your numbers turn to 70. Celebrate!

  7. Ellen says:

    Dear Judie,
    We are so fortunate that you posted on 70candles, because the #1 thing we’ve learned from our research is the importance of women our age sharing our fears, our challenges, and yes, our joys (this last one will come later for you). Of course you might think about seeing a counselor or a primary care doc and even consider a course of meds to get you over the hump. That’s always an option. But I’m going to wager that once you are into your 70’s you’ll realize they’re not as scary as you now fear. Yesterday I talked to the niece of an 85 year-old woman I can’t wait to meet. She said her aunt has 3 guiding principles: (1) She wakes up every morning with a goal for the day, no matter how small. (2) She tells herself “I do not have time for ‘Arthur.'” Arthur is her arthritis. She swims and moves about instead of dwelling on her aches. (3) She believes in “maintaining the lust,” “keeping the lust alive,” although when I pressed her niece for examples, all she knew was that her aunt had read all three “Shades of Grey.” I would add #4–this woman has a sense of humor!! I want to thank you again for your sensitive and moving post. Please keep in touch. And especially, Jane and I would like to hear if our hunch is right–that this difficult transition TO 70 will ease when you’re actually there. You’re older, but you’re still Judie. I have lots of other suggestions, too, if the above isn’t helpful.

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