Scared and sad

Judie, Age 69

I am finding I am almost panicked about turning 70. This will be a little past two weeks when “the day arrives” I am very depressed. I have no desire to go out much or do anything. It’s like I’m frozen. I have to admit that I am scared. I feel like my life is over, there’s nothing more worth anything to do in the world. I am feeling aches and pains that I didn’t have a year ago. I truley feel dead inside.

I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. My kids say things like, you don’t look 70, you will live into your 90’s. They don’t get it just as I never got it before this age. I am glad I found this website. I used to work in home health so I have met many patients that were 70 and beyond. Some just amazed me with their postive outlook even dealing with health problems. I don’t understand why having this information has not improved the way I’m feeling.

Jan 3rd 2014 will be the day it feels like my world is ending. I’m open to any advise. Hopefully my children are right and I still have several years ahead of me. I would like to enjoy them and not waste them.

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5 Responses to Scared and sad

  1. Ellen says:

    Dear Judie,
    We are so fortunate that you posted on 70candles, because the #1 thing we’ve learned from our research is the importance of women our age sharing our fears, our challenges, and yes, our joys (this last one will come later for you). Of course you might think about seeing a counselor or a primary care doc and even consider a course of meds to get you over the hump. That’s always an option. But I’m going to wager that once you are into your 70’s you’ll realize they’re not as scary as you now fear. Yesterday I talked to the niece of an 85 year-old woman I can’t wait to meet. She said her aunt has 3 guiding principles: (1) She wakes up every morning with a goal for the day, no matter how small. (2) She tells herself “I do not have time for ‘Arthur.'” Arthur is her arthritis. She swims and moves about instead of dwelling on her aches. (3) She believes in “maintaining the lust,” “keeping the lust alive,” although when I pressed her niece for examples, all she knew was that her aunt had read all three “Shades of Grey.” I would add #4–this woman has a sense of humor!! I want to thank you again for your sensitive and moving post. Please keep in touch. And especially, Jane and I would like to hear if our hunch is right–that this difficult transition TO 70 will ease when you’re actually there. You’re older, but you’re still Judie. I have lots of other suggestions, too, if the above isn’t helpful.

  2. dot says:

    Hi Judy,
    Hang in there woman…it’s just one more day in your life. Turning 70 is just one more number in a long list hopefully! I will be turning 71 on March 12, 2014 and it will be just another number for me. It won’t slow me down, it won’t cause me pain or will it change what I will do. I have good health and I think we all have some pains and aches along the way…I have a 25 year old grand daughter who wakes every day in terrific pain from a near fatal auto acident when had two years ago. That won’t get better, just worse because of her broken back and neck. My daugher who is 47 wakes with pain and has it most of the day while suffering from Chronic Lyme Disease. I have not had either of these issues and I thank God every day for that. Cherish your days…your hours…months and your health. Live today like it’s your last. See funny movies…visit farmer’s markets…take up volunteer work…have friends over for lunch….hike…read….take hot baths and know that you are among a growing number of women who are there with you and beside you. Be grateful and thankful in your heart for every day and celebrate your life on a daily basis. You are one of the very lucky women in this world who will see your numbers turn to 70. Celebrate!

  3. I had similar misgivings in the run-up to 70. Lots of thoughts about how quickly the sands of time were running out and how little time I had left. And then an amazing thing happened. The day after my birthday all that fretting disappeared. I wish the same for you.

  4. Linda Morin says:

    I had very similar feelings…I dreaded turning 70, on January 15, 2014. Amazing that I still feel empty. I need to remember that for us the glass is near full and not near empty…Even when it is full you can still pour more life into it. Time will take its course I know but for me, finding the things that make me happy and smile is my goal.
    I retired at 68 and felt I just did not wan’t to die working for a company and on the phone most of the day. This has been a difficult decision to discern the benefits of working. I need to feel productive and this is important to me…A friend where I go to church told me that I deserve to retire and follow other dreams. I felt like you did and still do at times. Empty, dreading the inevitable decline.
    I have some problems with nerve roots and am in some pain a lot of the time. But, I have learned to push on, and if I work too hard and pain comes, I just rest the next day. I feel better after writing this note.
    We have all seen so much. Lived through so much and have contributed so much. I have a wonderful son, loving relatives, and the mobility to still do things and go places. I read a line the other day…”Getting older is a privilege”… not quite able to feel this, but trying.

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