Ellen on Positive Aging Part 2: About ageism

I have recently been trying to develop something akin to guidelines for positive aging. This is a work in progress. There are, so far, three items on this list, with new and exciting research to demonstrate their importance. 

LET’S END AGEISM and negative stereotypes

In spite of the repugnance of ageist stereotypes, we are not likely to have escaped their clutches. This is no small matter. Ageism is everywhere, and it is not good for our health or happiness or longevity

There are serious consequences, as we reported in our 70Candles! book:

Many institutions won’t hire anyone over 55, for fear we won’t be in tune with the younger generation or with the newest technology.

“I’m in a business where I know I wouldn’t have been hired if I admitted my age.”

 “I feel invisible in a crowd of younger people, and when I do get repeated attention, and think I’m being admired, it turns out I remind that young person of a grandma or favorite aunt!”

We hear terms of endearment from receptionists, and on the phone, like “dear,” “sweetie,” “honey,” that we use to address our young grandchildren or our pets.

When someone says something like “she’s 70 years young” they think they are being cute and flattering.  I want to scream, “70 is old!  And that’s okay!”

Social change is needed to educate about and eliminate ageism, particularly now as the population ages and the baby-boomers now reach their senior years.  

And, by the way, there is a significant negative impact on one’s health, life-satisfaction, and actual longevity, if even as children we have negative views of old people. 

The first response by many, to the thought of a 70-year-old and older woman, as supported by the preponderance of current literature, is failing mental and physical functioning.  When I began my literature review for my thesis, I typed “70 year-old women” into Google Scholar.  Nine entries fit onto page one, and titles included “Balance training in 70-year-old women,” “Periodontal conditions in 70-year-old women with osteoporosis,” Epidemiology of osteoporosis and osteoporotic fractures,” “Cost effectiveness of treatment to lower cholesterol levels in patients with coronary heart disease,” and so on. My husband suggested I call my thesis “Look at All the Pills on Granny’s Night Stand.”

Then this summer, for the first time, I typed “70 year-old men” into Google Scholar, and the first three articles that popped up were “Sperm output of older men,” “Fertility and the Aging Male,” and “Erectile Dysfunction in the Elderly.”

Becca Levy, a professor of psychology at Yale found that “Children as young as 3 or 4 have already taken in the age stereotypes of their culture.” “These age stereotypes are communicated to children through many sources, ranging from stories to social media. Individuals of all ages can benefit from bolstering their positive images of aging.”

She found that older adults with positive beliefs about old age were less likely to develop dementia, including those who are genetically disposed.

Levy explains, “We know . . . that exposing older individuals to negative age stereotypes exacerbates stress, whereas exposing them to positive age stereotypes can act as a buffer against experiencing stress.” 

In fact, the results of her research make the case “for implementing a public health campaign against ageism and negative age beliefs.” Even “individuals in their 80s and 90s can strengthen their positive images of aging.”

Finally, a physician has written about ageism in hospitals. “Over the years, I’ve become more and more aware of ageism in health care — a bias against full treatment options for older patients. Assumptions about lower capabilities, cognitive status and sedentary lifestyle are all too common. There is a kind of ‘senior profiling’ that occurs among hospital staff, and this regularly leads to misdiagnoses and inappropriate medical care.”

In other studies it’s been demonstrated that all too often negative attitudes about aging arise from anxiety over impending changes in physical ability and appearance, or worries about loneliness, or boredom. However, many studies of older adults debunk these perceptions. Older adults can and do live enriching and very active lives — so these perceptions aren’t rooted entirely in reality.

The bottom line for me is that we have a unique opportunity, now, to redirect the discourse about aging so it includes the positive aspects of old age. Our health and well-being depend on it.

Let’s do whatever we can to end Ageism. Hear Something, Say Something…TELL YOUR AGE!

Posted in 70candles, Ageism anecdotes, Aging, Attitudes about aging, Men aging, Stories | Tagged , , | 8 Comments

Ellen’s comments on Positive Aging

This and posts to follow are from Ellen Cole’s presentation to the Albany Guardian Society. Author of several books, Ellen presents her 8-year research project on Positive Aging for women (which is relevant and interesting for men, too). She shares what a cross-section of diverse women have to say about their lives, the challenges and joys, and what we can learn about thriving in our 8th decade and beyond.

We hope you find this information interesting and useful, and will let us know what you think about it.

Definition of Positive Aging:

“The mission of positive aging is to add more life to our years, not more years to our lives.” – (George Vaillant)

And why the heck is this work important?

Here’s why: Increased life expectancy is one of the most significant success stories, and one of the most significant challenges, of our time.  

The number of U.S. baby boomers is estimated currently to be 78.2 million.

This year, 2019, we’ll see 7, 918 baby boomers turn 73 each day, 330 each hour. 

By 2050, 1 in 5 Americans will be “seniors,” over age 65, and four in ten girls born today are expected to live to be 100.

Stanford longevity researcher Laura Carstensen calls this a “longevity revolution—the social and biological revolution of our time.” At a recent conference I attended for mental health counselors, I heard it referred to as “The Silver Tsunami.”

(More to come in Comments below and as Posts to follow)

Stay tuned!

Posted in 70candles, About turning 70, Aging, Men aging | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Inspiration

I’ve been gathering a collection essays, poems, quotes from books, and other writing that I come upon. I find these inspirational, they strike a chord and feel relevant to my aging self.

I’ve decided to share them here and invite you to add to this collection.

Jane

I’ll start with this reflection by Úrsula LeGuin.

Posted in 70candles, Adaptations and accommodations as we age, Aging, Gratitude and Spirituality, Inspiration as we age, Our bodies, our health, Stories | 6 Comments

Care and keeping of old men

We’ve been thinking recently about men aging and talking with friends about various aspects of the subject. We know we generally focus on ourselves in this forum, but thought we’d shift our lens for a moment for a wider view of our lives, and open the conversation for your thoughts.

Many women our age are widowed, but many still have men in their lives, or remember spouses, partners, fathers, brothers and friends. 

Here are some questions that have been raised:

Do personalities prevail, or do they alter with the aging process?

Do men face different issues than women as they age?

How do men spend their time as physical changes effect them?

How do relationships shift in later years?

What issues do caregivers face?

We hope you’ll add more topics and share what you think.

What has been your experience? Okay to write anonymously if you want to write otherwise private thoughts.

We look forward to an interesting conversation.

Jane and Ellen

Posted in 70candles, Adaptations and accommodations as we age, Aging, Attitudes about aging, Family matters, Men aging | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

70Candles! in new Move On e-magazine

We, Jane and Ellen, have been profiled, along with our blog, 70candles.com in the current issue of the new online magazine, Move On. The magazine is focused on women over 60 who are facing life changes and challenges.
Check it out through this link, share with your friends, and let us know what you think.

https://moveonmagazine.com

Posted in 70candles, About turning 70, Aging, Attitudes about aging, Networking, Older women connecting | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Hair-The Reality not the Musical

Barbara Greenleaf

I always liked my hair: It was thick and wavy and adapted easily to every style that was in. But, basically, like teeth until they ache or heels until they blister, hair—until it falls out—is something one simply takes for granted.Recently mine has been falling out or, as the euphemism goes, “thinning.”

From time to time I thought my hair looked a little sparse on top, but I didn’t really pay attention to it until that night at dinner when my husband happened to glance at my head as I bent over to cut into a lamb chop. “My God, you have a bald spot!” he blurted out. When he saw my stricken expression, he said casually, “Oh, it’s only a tiny one; no one will notice.”

That was it: I could no longer ignore the signs of imminent balding. Was it my imagination or was I suddenly growing a high forehead? I wrung my hands over every strand that remained in my comb and every wisp that fell into the sink. I began to look at ads for wigs and experimented with concealing styles. In fact, playing with my fast-diminishing locks became a major activity. I changed my part to the left side since the thinning seemed most noticeable on the right, all the while telling myself that this was not a comb-over. (Right.) I also tried criss-crossing the top layers. Good for Raggedy Ann, not so good for me. Finally, I sprayed brown colorizer on my scalp to make it look like hair, the way a homeowner would spray green paint on his concrete yard to make it look like grass.

These tactics, of course, were merely cosmetic. It was time to get to the root of the problem (you should pardonthe pun). Since desperate times call for desperate measures, I made an appointment with a dermatologist, who prescribed Women’s Rogaine. The instructions say you not only have to rub this foamy substance into your scalp EVERY DAY, you can never stop or your hair will fall out again. Oh, and there is one other teensy-weensy downside: you might grow unwanted hair in places other than your head. Great. Now, not only would my husband and I have matching bald spots, we’d have matching his and hers mustaches, too.

Undaunted, I started using the Rogaine, but my efforts didn’t stop there. I also got a laser comb, which I was supposed to frog walk over my scalp a quarter inch at a time, three times a week. That did not sound too onerous, but it did sound mind numbing. To counteract the boredom and get in a little exercise, too, I began to multi-task by standing on one leg for balance, squeezing a hand-gripper for strength, and climbing up and down steps for endurance. Occasionally, I would go through the mail.  Beeeeep, beeeep . . . 

I’ve only been in the hair-growth game for five weeks and I’ve been told not to expect signs of progress for at least three to six months. Still, each night I search hopefullyfor the little row of fuzz that will signal a return to the old me. Hair. This woman’s crowning glory, indeed!

Excerpt from her new book, This Old Body: And OtherReasons to Laugh at Life. https://www.amazon.com/THIS-OLD-BODY-Other-Reasons/dp/164570405X/ref=sr_1_1

Posted in Stories | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Living as I age

Mari, Almost 72

Someone once said I ought to call Mel Brooks; he could make a great story of my life.

Growing up in the Midwest as the first daughter to live after my mother lost her first born @ only a couple days old! I later came to realize that perhaps my job was to prove that I would not die like Rita Diane did

I am writing to you because I am approaching 72 in a few weeks and am once again reading (yes, among other things I am a bibliophile): 70 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU TURN 70.

I wanted to share my story with you as I have been wanting to start a blog on being in the world not of the world. (I have a brand new Apple computer and I don’t even know my password; thus being a technophobe it’s not happening)

Briefly
I have 6 licenses and degrees
Cosmetology (modeled for Olympic hair competition)
Women’s studies major
Facilitator for Clarity Institute
Reiki And Yoga instructor certifications
Image consultant with AICI CERTIFICATION specializing in Fashion Feng Shui
I have served on a board for survivors of sexual abuse and did an internship at center for homeless in South Bend Indiana
Currently I’m a STEVHEN Leader for STEVHEN ministry
(Oh, and back in the day I met 3 of the 4 BEAtles, and partied with Andy Warhol).

Thank you
Mari Marsha Bowlin

Posted in Stories | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Subscribers list up and running again!

Just a note to let you know that we’ve had a technical disaster hiatus associated with the automatic upgrade of the Subscribers List plugin.

It appears that all issues have been resolved, and you should begin receiving again, email alerts when we have new postings.

We look forward to many more wonderful 70candles conversations.

Thanks for your patience.

Jane and Ellen

Posted in 70candles, Looking ahead | Tagged | 1 Comment

Just turned 70

Joyce, Age 70

My name is Joyce Henderson; I’m an African-American retired school teacher in the Philadelphia area and I just turned 70 last week.  I found out about you guys from a book my son got me called “Things to Do When You Turn 70.”  I’ve been retired for 15 years and I started volunteering in places that I was interested in:  Coalition Against Hunger, Children’s Hospital, School library, ESL tutor.  I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.  My husband passed away almost 5 years ago and my years of activity along with my church activities helped to ease the pain and loneliness.  My husband always tried to surprise me with a party on my 50th birthday and my 60th birthday; but since he wasn’t here this year I planned my own 70th party and it was great!  I had a Motown theme; my sisters and I were the Supremes; my guests came dressed in 70’s attire and we danced in the Soul Train line.  I’ve been blessed with good health and I look forward to my next great event next year!  Each year is a blessing and I feel especially blessed to have family and friends around.  Three score and ten is starting out with a bang!  

Posted in 70candles, About turning 70, Aging, Attitudes about aging, Older women connecting, Resilience, Widows’ choices, Work life and retirement | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Ageism article from The New York Times

THE NEW OLD AGE

Ageism: A ‘Prevalent and Insidious’ Health Threat

The World Health Organization has begun four studies intended to define ageism and identify ways to combat it. 

By Paula Span

  • April 26, 2019

Credit Lizzie Gill

Here’s the link to an interesting article.

Let us know what you think about ageism…

Any recent experiences?

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/04/26/health/ageism-elderly-health.html?emc=edit_sc_20190430&nl=science-times&nl_art=&nlid=63320403edit_sc_20190430&ref=headline&te=1


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Posted in Stories | 1 Comment