Sherry, Age 69
I am quickly looking at age 70 and I am having a difficult time of it.
I know it is just a number…or so I tell myself….but the truth is I feel like it is my first step onto the death train.
Yes, I know we are all going to die, but this age is downright traumatic for me.
I had a heart attack a little over a year ago, and was lucky to survive. It kicked in thyroid issues, and now a few weeks ago I took radioactive iodine to slow down/ kill my thyroid. Now I have limited energy. My hair also got thin and brittle.
Before this, I was performing music regularly, writing, going to a lot of parties, doing crafts, etc.
Now it all seems meaningless.
I am still fairly attractive and force myself to work out, be somewhat social, etc….but force is the operative word here.
I have no husband, boyfriend, or children. I have always had a lot of friends, but my energy there is diminishing.
I am not suicidal…but turning 70 had totally messed with my head.
I can’t take anti-depressants because of the reaction to meds I am taking.
So, what now?
Hello Sherry,
I wanted to write to you personally. I had a cortisone shot for my hip today and was told I have the early stages of degenerative joint disease (osteoarthritis). I have walked marathons, played tennis avidly, and considered myself a woman who “loved/lived to sweat.” I’ve joked that’s what would appear on my tombstone. Now that’s not the same as a heart attack, and my hair remains thick and curly; I’m making only the smallest of comparisons. I’m so sorry you’ve had to suffer these hardships. But we do have this in common: We are not what we used to be. I often think of that old bumper sticker, “Old Age is Not for Sissies.” And we’re only APPROACHING old age at 70-ish.
I’m wondering what you might do to adapt and even thrive in what may not be our golden years, but certainly are important years of our lives. And, as my 97 year-old Dad likes to say, often, “So what’s the alternative!!”
One book I suggest for you is called The Resilience Factor: 7 Essential Skills for Overcoming Life’s Inevitable Obstacles by Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatte. It’s not about aging—in fact I recently recommended it to a high school football player who was being recruited by an Ivy League university until he had a game-ending injury. Yet I found it helpful as I prepared for my cortisone shot, today. Look particularly at a concept the authors call Real-time Resilience. The theme is that you can change the way you THINK about your life.
Thank you again for writing to our blog. I guarantee you are not alone, and your submission will strike a chord with many readers. Perhaps it will generate some good suggestions as well as a good discussion.
And, one more thought: It could be GREAT for you to get together with other women who are 70-ish. Jane and I have been leading groups here and there—in Philadelphia, in upstate New York, in New York City…. We are having a 70Candles retreat at Esalen, in Big Sur, CA the weekend of August 17-19, this summer. Details will be available soon at http://www.Esalen.org. We would love it if you could sign up for our group, or even start your own group in your own hometown.
Gratefully,
Ellen