Barbara, Age 78
In anticipation dread of retirement to begin this August, I have initiated email correspondence with one special friend from each segment of my life, of which there were three- hence three gals, HS, College, Grad School, after decades of drifting apart. It has been an unexpected joy for them and for me.
I am 73 years old and my circles of friends vary, but all add joy to my life.
Six years ago my graduation class had it’s 50th Class Reunion. As a result of the reunion I have reconnected with friends that I had not seen since high school Since that time we have formed a group that we call the LA Sistahs. There were 12 of us (we buried one friend last year) and we have bonded together so that we are there for each other during good times and bad times. We text, email, talk on the phone and meet for loooong lunches every other month or so. When we see each other it seems that those fifty years have faded away.
I have another group of friends that has celebrated being together for the last 50 years. In December we will travel Vegas to celebrate the 50th Wedding Anniversary of one of our ‘base group’. The whole group will be there. It has been fifty years of phone calls, lunches, hugs when necessary , birthday celebrations and travel.
The group that I see mostly is a group of seven friends that meet every Thursday night to play Mexican Train Dominoes. We laugh, talk, and solve the problems of the world. You can guess who is the topic of many conversations these days.
I also am very active in my Church and it is like one big family.
It would seem that with all of this, I would be happy, but I am not. I want so badly to relocate, but I’m afraid it is too late. My health is not the best and I am afraid of leaving my support behind. I am a retired educator with a pretty decent retirement. I own my home, but it is not paid for. I live in sunny California where housing costs have gone through the roof and I could sell my house and have enough equity to pay cash for a home in another state.
I have two adult children and both live with me along with three grandchildren. I feel crowded and overwhelmed. Every day I feel like running away. Neither is financially able to move right now.
Help, I don’t know what to do.
Bunny,
You are so fortunate to have so many groups of important friends in your life. They are a treasure, not easily left behind. It sounds like it’s just your housing situation that is making you uncomfortable.
There is a new movement of co-housing afoot. Women are moving in together to share a home, it’s care, expenses, and social camaraderie.
Is it possible that among your many friends there is someone living alone who would welcome a housemate?
It’s a question worth asking.
Wishing you good luck as you pursue your options.
Jane
Mott Yott was the name of them all, the speedboats and the cruisers, and life was good. Memories were made and friends were many and we hoped it would never end. Now I sit alone on my balcony and look across the water and pretend we are still racing up and down on the lake where it all began, the magic of memories. Barbara Mott
Barbara, you are an inspiration. One particular TV ad irks me. It shows a man happily wiling away his new retired life–fishing! I actually like to fish, maybe once or twice a year. But two truisms occur to me: Other people matter (to quote positive psychologist Chris Peterson), and everyone wants meaning in their lives. My husband says, “Everyone wants to be an important part of something important.” I think you’ve really discovered something here. You’ve created an absolutely beautiful way to prepare for your retirement. You’re reaching out to others, you’re creating meaning–I think it’s brilliant. Thank you.