My husband of 48 years passed away almost 5 years ago. My friends and family comment on how well I have done moving forward and living independently. My choices are: look forward with optimism or backward with grief. Being human, there are certainly times when grief is overwhelming but I am fortunate to have a loving family and network of friends.
I try to stay open to new ideas and experiences. I did move to a new city in Michigan to live near my son. My previous retirement location with my husband had been in the backwoods of Michigan and that no longer worked for me. And when he was alive we bought a condo in Fl. and had 5 years to develop a social network. So I now live in Michigan 6 months and Fl. 6 months. I love my little house and neighborhood but miss my old friends.
My health is good and I joined the local YMCA and go to various classes. My love is ping pong and in Fl. there are opportunities to enjoy this activity with my age group….not so much in Michigan. I love gardening and am content with my own company which helps.
I think it is very important to surround yourself with optimistic people or find things in your life that keep you directed on a positive course. This age sneaks up on all of us and dwelling on an uncertain future is nonproductive.
I stumbled upon this website from a book I am reading: 70 things to do when you turn 70…edited by Ronnie Sellers. It is an enjoyable read. And this blog is such a good idea. Good luck to all my fellow “age mates”. Life is not easy to sort out and dealing with loss and physical debilitation is not for the weak of heart.
“My choices are: look forward with optimism or backward with grief.”
Good for you! I totally agree. We can’t change our circumstances, but we can choose our attitude.
This post came at at time I needed the inspiration. I am in the midst of a divorce. I have moved 11 times in 15 years. Never staying long enough to find people and groups to make fast friends. When you move on, most times the friendships don’t last.. you are gone and their lives carry on without you.. just a fact of life. I am retired and have been throughout these moves. Now I can relocate pretty much where I can afford to go. I’ve lived in Indiana, Idaho and Washington state. But Sarasota Florida seems tempting. Yes, it all sounds exciting… but committing to a long distance move without having lived there sounds scary and lonely to me. I need friends … my son lives in Ontario Canada, where I am originally from. The Toronto area is very costly and he has a career where he may not be there long. I need to start looking forward and celebrate the new beginning… but I’m terrified .. any suggestions?
Dear Leigh,
Firstly, I’m sorry to hear about your divorce; a major stressor, regardless of reason… I just hope you have a good attorney.
Your post left me with a lot of questions, especially the many moves, especially since you’ve been retired all this time. And I get that you are “terrified,” because you have so many questions of your own dancing over your head. It is clear you really need some sorting out and only an OBJECTIVE viewpoint – and PROFESSIONAL, at that can truly (in my humble opinion) help you out. I hope you consider my suggestion.
In the meantime, KNOW that we, your sisters, HEAR you and CARE; we want the best for you. But you have a challenge before you and need to spend some time exploring every avenue – as OBJECTIVELY as possible (something we, ourselves can’t do), especially when you’re in the midst of a divorce.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and I will dedicate my next YOGA session (a loooong, silent prayer, always) to you. Be well. God Bless.
Mary
P.S. PLEASE keep us updated!!!!!!