Joy, Age 70
I’m about to turn 70 in approximately five hours. I’ve been sitting here at the computer, drinking white wine, crying for my sister – a young 74 – who passed in June 2015. I can’t believe that I’m turning 70 without her presence, her support, her beautiful, radiant, magnificent self. I’m still in shock. How can this be happening? She hadn’t been sick. She was so vital, right up to the end. The circumstances of her death are shrouded in mystery. I’m still devastated. I’ll never get over losing her.
So here I am, searching and searching for a way to turn 70 alone. My two daughters aren’t far away, but they can’t possibly understand. My history, my life, are nowhere now but within me. My friends are nearby but too far removed. My husband, an ex for over seventeen years now, wouldn’t have even tried.
I’m flying solo.
Hi Joy,
I was sitting here before I have to get up and get ready for Easter Dinner. I read your story and it was like reading my own. I lost my sister, my best friend, my partner in business and I just can’t stop hurting and feeling very lonely for her. It’s like having a hole in your heart that keeps oozing pain. I hope things are better for you.
I just turned 73 in January. I remember turning 70. It was a shock no doubt about it. My only brother died at 62 so he did not see me celebrate 70. At this time I do see a decline in certain abilities and health issues. But it need not stop you from realizing new pursuits and dreams. Time now to resolve the past. Put much of it in perspective. Seeing the forest now and not the trees is a liberating experience. Getting older is filled with anxiety at times. However, the pace of change moves so fast even insecurity does not last long. Enjoy, days are numbered now as they always have been. I used to tell my clients, No one is too young to die and no one is too old to live. Today is all we have. I so understand going it alone. Most of my old time friends have passed on. I am slow to make new ones but still try.. I now have an older house mate and we have fun. My son lives in San Francisco which is just an hour away. So life is good. Enjoy. Linda
I hear you loud and clear….times have changed and so must we..I don’t care what anyone says being 70 and going solo is hard….70 is not the new 60…our limitations are more…our families are busier and we become more invisible in this tech world. But we are smarter as woman than we were in the past, but physically we are weaker. That is the reality of myself and women I know. I don’t know where they get their data from.
Cindy hi,
We understand your feeling that going solo at 70 is hard. But being smarter, and finding social contacts wherever one can, can mitigate loneliness and isolation.
As for the data…
An article in today’s Dallas Morning News reported results from a study from Harvard and the National Bureau of Economic Research. They found that “between the early 1990s and the late 2000s the elderly population gained more disability free years than years with disability.” Michael Chernow, an author of the study is quoted as saying, “We can find some solace in evidence that people are living longer and better.”
We appreciate your joining the 70Candles conversation.
Jane and Ellen