Anonymous, Age 70
Well, here I am. I retired on July 1 almost 3 years ago and became very involved with my 93-year-old dad and my 90-year-old mom. She became very sick and was hospitalized 2 1/2 weeks into my “retirement” for the better part of 7 weeks, and my dad went into memory care in September. I subsequently moved in with my mom at her request in September when she was discharged. She was still quite ill. Then my Dad died in January. They knew each other for 75 years and were married for 70 of them. So, I retired from social work and became a full time care giver.
I’m sure there are others in similar circumstances so I’m not the only one. My brother and one sister are retired. Both married. I’m divorced for 20 years after 32 years married. Two sisters work full time still. I am not in a position to think about what I want for the next 10 years.
I don’t have a problem being 70. I just wait to see what happens tomorrow.
Live in the moment, tomorrow will take care of itself!
Reading your post brought to mind all the conflicting thoughts I had at the time of my mother’s aging needs. Ideally, I believe in shared responsibility between siblings yet it seems, even today, that the sibling without a spouse is expected to take on most of the caregiving, even if other siblings are retired and financially secure. The divorced or single sibling might be working full-time and perhaps in a financially vulnerable position yet feel conflicted at this time. Take care of yourself and look after your own needs too. I’m so sorry for your loss.
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