Beverly, Age 70
Thank you for throwing me your lifeline.
My love of my life, husband of 30 years sent me your blog…He is 13 years my jr. I was blessed with good genes. I never ever admited our age
From a vibrant, positive, superwoman turned 70, last November my life changed.
I lost my job three months ago. I loved my career, helping people in need. It was a total shock. It was a blow to my ego. I felt that I was kicked to the curb.
My husband’s career is in a home office. I seem to always be irritating him. I am seldom home. Volunteer at a Sharing Center, Homeless etc. I am very unhappy with life. My career, which I loved, dominated my life I am now available to friends and loved ones.
I am having a mental crisis.
Loved ones, including my wonderful husband irritate me. Of course, I felt that this was their problem not me.
Before I opened your blog via my spouse, today, a dear friend 73 yrs gave me an eye opening revelation. Maybe the problem is ME!
Bev
Dear Bev – Reading your blog brought memories of myself at that stage ten years ago – I chose to leave work planning to move into a life of creativity and freedom compared to a life of work – even though I had loved my work – instead I found myself drowning in emptiness – loss of identity and structure – loss of purpose and the daily companionship of like minded people – couldn’t bear the sight of my partner happily working at things he enjoys. It is a huge loss – allow yourself to grieve – take time to find yourself in this new stage of life – can I offer a few points?
-avoid immersing yourself in kitchen and housework – will make you very resentful!
– don’t rush into too many volunteer activities otherwise you will find yourself being ‘busy’ doing things you don’t particularly enjoy, and feeling too guilty to drop out.
-create an office/studio/workspace for yourself where you can close the door and meditate/read books/listen to music/work at whatever you want.
– investigate blogs and blogging – a marvellous source for meeting like minded people.
Do keep us posted on your progress – this is a marvellous stage of life – but like everything else – it has to be worked at and created – enjoy the process.
Jeanette
Dear Bev,
I have read your post several times, and I find it very moving. Thank you for being so honest. When you say that 70candles is your lifeline, my heart sings. That is the purpose–an opportunity for us to share our REAL lives, the challenges and the joys. I am so sorry you lost your job. I can relate to that. I was a full professor when I moved to New York three years ago (age 69) and did not even get an interview for two Assistant Professor jobs I applied for. I was devastated. When you say “the problem is ME,” I don’t buy that. You lost your job. That is awful. However, it sounds to me as though the SOLUTION may be you, and it seems that your self-awareness (maybe due to your dear friend’s revelation) will lead you in the right direction. What can you do that would be meaningful to you? You are a good writer. You loved helping people in need. Good, these are clues to next steps. You say you’re unhappy with your life. Is there something even small that makes you happy? Do it more. And keep sharing, as you’ve done here. What I’ve learned from this blog, and from my studies of the eighth decade, is that talking to each other about what’s important to us is VERY important. Good luck to you, and thank you for writing.
Ellen