Finding it hard

Annemarie, Age 73

I am 73 years old and find it hard to come to terms with getting old. I miss my youth, the attention, the energy I had, and having something to look forward to. My time is spent caring for my husband who has changed so much that I don’t know him. We have three children and eight adult grandchildren. Sorry to be so negative but this is how I feel.

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2 Responses to Finding it hard

  1. Ellen says:

    Annemarie, I went back to grad school at age 69 (I just turned 72 last week) to get a master’s degree in Positive Psychology. I’d been a psychologist for decades (PhD in the 1970’s), but was intrigued by this new field that was researching how to flourish and thrive rather than treat what’s wrong. Here’s the most important thing I learned: Life is tough. To deny that is preposterous. I feel for you. I can only imagine what it must be like to be a caretaker for an ailing husband you don’t even know any more. Thank you for sharing this with our readers. By reaching out you’ve invited in a lot of compassion, and we all benefit from that kind of sharing. But grad school also taught me about the value of being kind to others, feeling and expressing gratitude, figuring out what the field calls our “signature strengths” and using them everyday. If you are, for example, a curious person, discover one new thing a day. I appreciate you for expressing what you call your negativity, but I would also want to hear what’s meaningful to you, what brings you joy, when you feel at your best. Because I know that’s there, too. Thank you, Annemarie.

  2. Kathi says:

    It has to be terribly hard to take care of an ailing husband, especially one who has changed so much. I’ve never had to deal with that, so have not walked in your shoes, but please try to think of something that could possibly change in the future to bring some joy to your life. With the family members, couldn’t someone take care of your husband for a short while so you could have a break?We all need something to look forward to, even if it is a small trip or visit with someone from long ago. There has to be some good in your life, try to concentrate on that and let the past go. We can never get back the way we were, as much as we might want to.

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