Advice please

Laura, Age 56

Hi there,

I came across your blog in doing a search on Google. I’m grateful for finding it! I was wondering if you would be so kind as to offer some advice.

Here’s the story: My best friend is my ex-partner. She and I were together for 10 years, I moved away for 5 years, then returned to AZ (near Sedona) and we decided to get a home together since we’ve known each other for over 20 years. We are very close and have the best friendship anyone could ask for. She is a solid gem. She is turning 69 next week and is really struggling (I’m 56 so I don’t know what she is going through).

I always celebrate her birthday in a fairly big way but she said she doesn’t want anything done this year at all. I threw her a big surprise party for her 65th and she said she does not want a party…at all. So, I will honor that but I still want to do something but I don’t know what.

What can I do to support her? It breaks my heart to see her sad, especially since she does soooo much for other people and is truly a kind and loving person.

Please help!

Thanks so much!
Laura Geatches

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3 Responses to Advice please

  1. Roseann Cervelli says:

    I think the best thing we can do for someone on their Birthday is to honor their wishes…”How you would like to live this day? It is your day, it truly belongs to you to create however you like. I love you and I honor your wishes…”
    Sometimes the actual birthday date holds so much emotional power, especially as the numbers begin to climb. Perhaps planning an outing or something special a week or two after the actual birthday may feel better for her.
    You know her and love her… I am sure your Heart will lead you to what is her Heart’s Desire…
    Sincerely,
    Roseann

  2. Fran says:

    First of all, how wonderful this relationship is between the two of you. Many people don’t have a relationship this good in their whole lives.

    Secondly, Roseann gave the best advice there is. Can’t do better than that.

    One anniversary I wrote my ex a love letter, telling him what he meant to me and why he did. We’d been married about ten years, we had three kids, all the ‘romance stuff’ was over. But something compelled to write that letter. It was the only time I ever saw him cry. It doesn’t matter that you two aren’t partners anymore. You obviously have a deep, loving relationship.

  3. Dorothy Cardi says:

    My husband, not much of a party person, didn’t want a big to-do on his 65th, an age he was not looking forward to turning. Since he’s a big history buff, I took him on a trip to Normandy, France. It was quite an extravagance for us and something we probably never would have done, had it not been a big birthday year. He enjoyed it so much more than any party and when he looks back on turning 65, it is with great memories.

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